am i single??

"r u single??".....that is the magic of chatting,if u can even call that magic...
funny how a conversation could even start from those 3 words.....i was taken aback for a milisecond....then,i thought,"DUH~~!!"...anyone can ask me that through chatting...imagine asking that question face to face.....gawd...i can't even look at the face of the person that i like.....looking from afar is all i can do....
no wonder i don't believe in "chat love"....is that even love???wat is LOVE anyway in terms of this online thingies........
i have very close people who believes in this kind of love and gawd daym it...they even are proud of it.....
imagine "loving" someone who u have not met and have not seen before....if u r lucking,maybe that person is the guy who is schooling at the same school and you know how he looks like at the very least...
people use "chatting" as a reason for them being this shy person who cannot even talk or approach the opposite sex......however, i agree 100% to this if u noe the person 101%....hehehe...
i tried this method using "mirc and stuff" and tried at least to find a decent conversation and funny enough the first question ask at least once is "r u single?"...owhkay,maybe the reason i tried themethod was to try to find one "friend"...but i just cannot take it seriously not even 1% serious...and i can't imagine a person being serious about this kind of thing at least 50% serious....
DON'T U THINK ITS STRANGE???im an open minded person, but i just cant "like" someone without knowing how he looks like....
once a friend of mine asked me that wuestio,whether i would like a person by his character and personality and watever but doesn't know how he looks like....i had to think about that question since i would not want to hurt her feelings or anything since it seems that she likes someone that way.....so all i said was,"it depends"....
it depends on wat,i did not specify...i did not want to.....
honestly, i like a person by his looks.....at least he must look like a human being....and i must say,a bit good-looking, but that is just me....that is why this chat love is not one of my favourite things in my list....but i would like to try one more time if i have the chance and the time.....really......
LIKE IN A MILLION YEARS!!!!hahahahahahah........and i heard that there is this cute person who i happen to like a little (a lie...like A LOT LIKE him ada lah...hahahaha)..and people told me that he has a lot of gf...but through this kind of "method" i mean...come on!!!tons of girls would jump in front of him and be with him if he just say the word...but naaaawwwww...he chose the chatting way!!!!aaaarrrgghhhh!!!!well,at least one girl would jump in front of him, that is lil miss ME!!hahahahahha.....seriouslyyyy~~........i just had to say dat....
wat a STUPID BOY....me flesh and blood and in front of his face and AVAILABLE.....hahahaha....ayu,ayu,how MORE desperate can u be???a bit more will be owhkay right???hahahahaha....

today was a fun day......the school festival had played a part in making it fun just now.....
the highlight of the festival was when the principal started to sing...hahahha...of course not....
to tell you the truth, the thing that made me jump out of my sit literally was when c Kucing was playing the drums.....gaaaaawwdddd....talk about major hawt stuff!!
i can't belive my eyes when he sat on the drummer's chair with his cute face and even cuter hair...i had to scream my heart out owhkaayyy....dun blame me for acting ridiculous that time, i just had to...hahahaha..
i was clapping like crazy.....and i noe if i was sane that time, it would be major embarassing much!!
i can't stop smiling and shaking when i thought of that thought/memory....
another highlight was the christmas song...it was soooo sweet and sooooo nice!!!i just had to sing along....
then after the festival we had lunch in KB town with minah.....ya lanja....soooo apatah lagee...hahhahaha...actually we forced him to treat us...aren't we cruel...and him being the so-called "man" that he is,treated us...but us being our considerate selves, ate at a cheap place....nice huh....hahahhahaha
then the girls had our nails done.....French Manicure yoooooo......i love manicures,don't you????hehehehe....but the french mani was really troublesome while waiting for it to dry which took FOREVER!!!of course,i had to have at least one of my nails redone...haahhaha....active waaahhh....pegang sana sini,ambila ni,baca atu,jalan sini sana....hahahahhaha.........AYU kale aahhh,....wawawawa....

i will have sweet dreams tonight, with my very own drummer!!GAAAWWDDD!!!
i just had to put that down,if not i will explode.....
sooooreeee for being a pain and talking bout him again and again...he is HAWWTT!!!!looorrvvveeee iiitttt!!!i have to start saying hi to him...YEAH RYT~~!!!hahahahhahaha.........imagine imagine je bahh....

interesting~~

i can't believe how fast news can travel in SMSA......its mind blowing...in like 3 hours, d whole lower6 community knows everything...hmmmmm....interesting.....
and i am in a way proud to be the first people to know and spread...hahahahaha....
when there is gossip or story...there i will be...

but the story was soooo juicy and sooooo disgusting i have to kill myself....*apakan*..i DO NOT need to see what i saw yesterday....
i know i am guilty of being hypocritical and a back stabber.....but come on!i dunnot want to see free porn OWHKAY!!!
i can get that from the internet and it is more interesting.....i think....hahah
they were very disrespectful...like we were someone with no dignity, but i think it is them who have lost theirs...
they have changed my views about them and that guy i have to say treats women like things and worthless!!i feel like kicking him in his face and shoot him with a bazooka...AAARRGGGHHH!!

drama drama drama...

the guy has a gf and that stupid gf doesn't know a thing and when i went out of physics class i saw her....laughing and smiling.....and i want to kick her to for making the female look very stupid and cheap and does not know anything!!they are in the same school FOR GAWD'S SAKE!!!
i have to talk to her......dump him in front of everyone....make him suffer....make him feel shame....make him look stupid.....
or even better, ask her to find a new one while he is with the "mistress"....hahahaha.....( i am trying to create more drama for the school)...
i cannot believe i had to encounter the things i did yesterday, today and maybe tomorrow....

and for the record, i dun feel guilty at all and i dun regret doing wat i did, eventhough it may cost me my friendship.....

my result...

OMG...i cannot believe that i actually forgot to mention about my result!i guess i am happy enough that i managed to scrape 2 passes and get myself promoted...hahahaha...
weelll,i will tell them from good to bad...

MATHS - 58
G.P. - 54
PHYSICS - 35++
HISTORY - 32

notice that my worst is history...i mean, i love history and its the best subject between all the 4 above...it involves tons of writing and memorising,which i soooooo love....but nooooo...i had to fail me....HAH!!
anyway,it is not a bad thing since the highest is only 33% and that makes me the 2nd highest!YAY me....!
but i really think that i deserve a better mark than that....i think i did well...hahahhaha....i mean, the teacher did not even mark,as in a tick or something and give us comments.....he just simply put 6/25 or 10/25 at the end of each essay...
it's a disappointment that he did not write anything...i guess i'll try a lot better in the next test to wipe off the satisfied look of "his" face when he said "none of you passed!"....i'll show him.......shesh!!

oopppzzz...better get to bed early...i need all the energy that i can get for tommorow....i have to have lots and lots of energy for the trip...and make me extra hyper than usual....can't wait...hehehehe.....i'll write about it next time...i need to brush my teeth! beef are stuck everywhere between my teeth and it is annoying to me!aaaaaahhhhh..........buhbye...

it's been a week,and next time it will be more than that i think.
for the whole of December,i will be extra extra busy. hmmmm...let me give you an idea of how busy i will be...
2-6 dec = Kuching
7-9 dec = camping
12-20 dec = Vietnam
24dec-1 jan = KL
i could barely have time to breath....i lurve exaggerations....hahahaha
i cannot have time to be bored!owh my gawd!!

sooo....this past few days and after the exam stressing, i decided to spend my time boringly....and OMG,i am a freak!i have to plan to be bored...hahahaha...
i started to play boggle supreme on the laptop everytime i finish my lunch.
and den i watch reruns and old-old series...i do not know how my eyes keep up with me....if one day i grow blind or blur,i will know the reason...hahaha....

ooowwwhhh...i went to OGDC today....met up with old friends...."old friends" *huh!* makes me feel old...hahaha...we caught up with our lives and i still felt like we were still our form5-selves....
but,there's no change in a ny of them....i will not mention names*haha*,most of them were their "boring" selves...don get me wrong,i like them boring and quiet and shud i say still shy,it's a different feeling then when i am with the SAS group....who are exactly the opposite,let me tell you...
i met up with celez oso coz it was like the only chance we got to meet before she leaves for Kuching again...it was fuuuuuunnnnn....then she left me all alone to meet with her bf...huhuhuhuhu.....owwwhh weeeellll......

hmmmmm....

i feel happy today....really...eventhough physics test was just now...i think i did ok....ok as in not getting 10 over 100...i hope not....i guess sumthing good will happen since i feel extraordinarily happy today...yeahhh...i have a feeling sumthing good will happen...sooner or later...sooner's better but im okay with later too...ehheee....
i feel like shopping....a kind of stress release for me...that is why i begged my mum to bring me to bandar tomorrow....eventhough i have to wake up extra early,send my sis work......i dun really mind,as long as i don need to ride on the landcruiser....aaaaaarrrghhhh....
i have driving tomorrow....i like driving.....makes me feel grown-up....but im kinda worried coz my driving is CRAZEEEEEE.....especially the roundabouts....scares me,but fun.....gets the adrenalin pumping....cheap thrill.....no wonder people drive soooo fast....lurvin it....ehe...
wat time is it anyway????
yon's bday is cuming soon....im countiing the days...3 more days....i was thinking of bringing her mani and pedi...a treat...nice eyhh....i like giving people wat i rely lurve...noe wat i mean??...but i dunnoe how that will happen....wait til i have my license legally i guess...and dat is not a long way to goooo...*excited nyyeeee saya...*
but azrina i think wants to make a surprise sumthing2 coz she asked me about it and yet she hasn't replied my message...i sent her tons!owhhkkaaayy,exaggerating again...it was only that one time..waaawawawa.....

thought for the day..

owwwhhkkaaayyy..i know im supposed to study for physics tomorrow.....weellll,i have 3 more hours before my bed time...*puppy eyes*...hehehe....and its PHYSICS!!there is no chance,NIL, for even gaining a pass grade....
well, in a way i am discouraged after the disastrous Maths exam yesterday....now i am feeling a little sick andi am seriously skipping dinner, and that is a big deal for me....HEL-LO!me skipping meal is a sign that i am not well....hahaha....food and me are like a drug addict and his drugs.....i must be crazy not eating...*siiiiggghhhh*....forgive me for being extra exaggerating here....just me being me....haha...

today we went to bandar, and we were extra early...exxxtttraaaa early for me, mind you....shops were still closed!and i hate looking at closed shops....they should open just for me....it felt like candy snatched from a kid...i don't do so-called "WINDOW SHOPPING"....i shop!!and closed shops meant i cannot shop and that adds to my frustration...Aina called me a spoilt brat..and i kinda like how it sounds....like peanut butter and jam....i need new things....shoes and stuff...i am being melodramatic here...hahaha....
i told my mum that "before i die i must build a walk-in closet for myself"...me talking with hopeful eyes...thinking waaaayyy deeper than i could have.....and that remids me of what i should actually talk about today...*sorry*...
back to the bandar thingie which i was supposed to write about 10 minutes ago...*gaaawddd its hard to write with long nails,mind you...but wat can i do....suffer for beauty...*
oowwwhhhkkaaayy....where was i???owwwhh yeahhh....we went to this education fair at the mall,first floor,today was the 1st day...*ayu buat promotion leeerrr*..hahaha...annnyyywaaaayy,when we were browsing around, my dad met with his friend and it was none other than the editor of Brunei Times....my dad told him we were looking out for unis for me and he said that i was interested in journalism....and i was surprised that he actually remembered me....(from the school trip visiting the Brunei Times last two months) and he even remebered me talking about my interest in that course,journalism.....i was happy, should i say,no,more than happy...and he praised me and said that i have the right criteria for being one...and i was really pleased...hehehe...he complimeneted the way i talked and stuff,just right for that job....hhahahahahaah.......that totally made me stop worrying about my maths...hahahaha.....
*still pleased with own self*
*sitting here smiling at myself..."goodjob ayu"...wahahahahaha*
*still smiling...*
owwhkaaayy, enough already.....
then we met with this marketing manager from uniKL, he recommended me engineering courses which i sooo despise, except aircraft E that is....she rambled on and on and on about the courses and even recommendind the course to my sister...shheessshh...it was funny,yet annoying that my mum pulled her "don noe anything* face....come on!!huhuhuhu.....it was funny and the usual behaviour of my family.....then she commented about aircratf E being a messy job but makes your pocket very full....ooooohhhhhhh...that caught my attention...imagine the number of shoes i can buy with that kind of money...my walk-in closet will not only be a fantasy.....wwwwooooowwww.......the idea just adds length to my smile...yummyy.....
im still confused about my future and now i think i still need both my parents to hold my hand and guide me to the so-called right direction.....

yeessshhh..im an immature spoilt brat...

my eyes hurt, my back hurts, my neck hurts and including every single part of my body....eventhough i am daym sleeping from lacking of it-studying-i of course cannot even close my eyes.....the thought of opening and closing them makes my head ache....aarrrggghhhh....

today was not a good day for me....frist, just by waking up early can make me extra cranky...and i was...!i had to start memorising wat i wrote and do a lot of sitting...when i went to school the sitting continued,let me tell you...for 3 hours!just writing essays!aaaaaahhh....it was mind blowing if you ask me....i thought i would not have finish all of them in 3 hours, but the job of writing and scribbling melodramatic situations kept me sane and going....
that was not all...i was hungry...daym hungry.....hahahah....had to wait til 11 to have a square meal...and i had high expectations on wat was going to be served,and i was utterly disappointed..waaaaaaaa....makan soto saja!!!!!hahahaha...

then the torture continued...*im sorry kidah but i like to think that me not managing to finish my exam was completely your fault,that way keeps me, well, alive..hahaaaha*....jee kept on telling me that she got 87 for her ppr1,which was incredible,but she rubbed it in on me.....it was annoying much,cause i did not know wat i got and i know i did not do well in it.....i have to say my overconfidence in doing pretty well in maths had kept me from opening my maths file earlier than should be....and because of that, the confidence in me made me INSANE!!!i was like working extra slow and my mind was literally blocked!i had nothing in my mind except for veitnam war and the cold war...it was frustrating.....
kidah told me that the exam would finish at 3.15 and i thought i had 15 more min to check my answers and start "dilling" the ones that i left out purposely...and at 3, when the invigilator said "stop writing!", iu literally stopped and my mouth was left open..i was SHOCKED in big cap letters...i did not know wat to say for once in my life!i had blanks all over the place...it was horrific!!maths was the only chance for me to pass and a pass was needed to be promoted to be "seniors"!ddddiiieeee loooorrr....im still overly worried and i know its a useless cause, but im still worried.....lucky for jee, if she did say another word of her getting high marks i would have stranggale er to death...hahahaha...i was that stressed out...
the minute i got home i wanted to cry of exhaustion...we were going to miri and i was only given 10 minutes to get ready....HEL-LO!!10 min for a girl my age is like a sec regarding "getting readying"....soooo i looked like a bum with my wet hair and uncoordinated clothes!i have to stop worrying about my exam!and shopping was the only cure of my sadness...hahahaha.....that was the only highlight of the day...yeah ryyyyttt....

2mro continue....

middle child crisis

these past few days were..hhmmm...wat shud i say??..very confusing...
my waterworks are like soooo active that every single time something sensitive was said i would cry and cry and cry....and dey are not sensitive let me tell you...
no wonder i like school soooooo much!it is where i feel like me...more me being me...hahaha......*don mind me..*

i met with chriz just now....watching movie and eating and walking round....catching up with things....gaawwddd i miss talking to her...i miss taking to a lot of them....huhuhuh...i can't believe im going to say dis......I MISS SAS!!!!
it was a lot of fun back den....fun now....but fun-ner den...hahahaha...less stressful......
now is the end of year exam..i guess im too confident of myself...i was soooo sure i am going to pass my maths,but now i dun feel like i will...it was sooo daym hard....
and about my physics...i was so sure too that i learned a lot...a lot than before!gaaawwwdddd!!i have never read dat much for any sci subs....now my history sucks like hell!!curses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!all i do now is watch series....anime....tv shows...korean drama.....NOTHING related to history,GP,MAths or Physics!i am becoming crazee....crazi-er, to be more specific!it is mind blowing!!
all i wanna do is write write write...that takes a lot of my mind away from anything form six-y...hahahahahah..huhuhuhu....hehehehehehe....

we were talking about the future "things" again...."we" as in my sis, mum and I of course....and because of that i cried my eyes out again...why???because they always look down on me.....
every single thing that i do is always wrong....just by opening my mouth, to them i have said the wrong thing....sitting down next to them, they look like i am something that is about to change into a bug....welll....wat can i say or do??that is what happen when your elder sister have come back....
just thinking about them makes me wanna cry....again....just listening to them talk with each other wanna make me puke!yes.....u may think that i am in the stage where my hormones are imbalanced and me being a rebellious teenager....weelll, i am very pleased if u want to be in my shoes.......be my guest..
owhkay...owhkay...let's start from the beginning....
we went back from our dinner-eating out-then they were planning to have a trip to wietnam....just them...since i have school.....well, do they have to make it during school time....can't they just a few days til i finish school...but watever....they never do it when my sis is busy or away.....always wanna wait for her...well, im owhkay with that really...i am used to it.....then my mum even sanggup to wait for my sis's bf to have his hols to bring him with them....HIM!!!!but not me....nooooo~....
suddenly we came to "my future" topic....i don rely remember how we even got there...*my eyes are soo watery i can't even look at the screen..*
my sister can do everything....she is SOOOO good in driving, i am not, so i can't be a pilot....my reflexes aren't good and i am too loud....i can't be a teacher coz my sis sed soo, since everyone would be afraid of me....i can't be an engineer since i can never sit still andcan't keep quiet....i can't even do anything medical since i am terrified of needles.....my own sister said from her own mouth that she won't recommend me.....why is she afraid that i will do better than her???come on!!i won't steal her glory...i'll stand back and be "aina's little sister" i dun mind....but still NO!!audi can do everything coz he is a BOY!!talk about discrimination and inequality......waddahell!!
a writer??a journalist???that is wat i call a far-fetched dream....wheni wanna be realistic i am called IMMATURE!!childish....
"change the way u laugh", my mum always sed.....laughing has absolutely nothing to do with a job!!.....my aunt laughs like a donkey,loud and ugly but her doing that is ok coz she is a hotel director....i could not be one because im loud....tell me whether i shud be confused or not!!
it's hard to be me.....when i wanna do sumthing good, my mum wud say, she will never do that....she can't even do that...she is not qualified to do that....
all i am good in is english and god knows my writing and language is not even excellent...."cukup cukup makan".....HUH!!!!!!!!
writing....nothing good can come out of it.....a mother who does not even supprt her own child....well, she does support my sis and bro though....a black sheep...

hari raya update

SOOOOO....i still cannot feel the raya vibe this year....i mean i could feel it last year and celebrate it with a lil bit of joy eventhough i did not go back Kuching...
this year...this particular year....heemmm.....why issit so???when i think back this past few days.....more like yesterday...everythng felt normal.....like it is still Ramadhan....there is a lack of excitement and happiness....
is it because i was driven by my own grandmother to work like a slave.....i mean i was asked to clean this and tidy that up, 2 days before raya....when i said i was exhausted she just said nothing......cruelty....owhkay not really cruelty and slavery since im being paid...hahahah....but still...i was alone doing all those things......once i had to carry 16 kilos of chicken and 6 kilos og beef in one go...and carry it around in this small basket...when we reached the car i literally could not feel my hands....
and when i complained to my aunt....u knoe what she sed???she bloody said its good for the arms...exercise..gawd daym it...if she was asked to carry that kind of load she would not have sed that it was exercise....my aunt was left sleeping soundly and nicely while i was tortured!and she did not show any compassion...nobody even asked if i was tired.....my arms....pity them....
and dat was not all...i ha to carry a large TV up to the 2nd floor...and carry boxes containing drinks.....i think my arms grew an inch!!
my back hurt and my legs are swollen and i could not think!....just because i have a big body...owhkay owhkay...FAT then does not mean i can work like 20 men!!doesn't mean i have the energy of 20 men!!
thank gawd i was there for 5 days...if it was more i would have died and died again...
i was exhausted to tears...tears!!!and nobody cared...owhkay of corz nobody knew since i was bawling my eyes out in the toilet....plus putting the water on!!hehehehe...
now in Brunei when i did not want to do something also tins are thrown at me.....shheessshhh!!!
the last time in Kuching i had my gurl cousin to help me....a friend to suffer together....but this year my sis was not there and mycousin was not there.....all alone....with a burden to bear alone.....waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!all is over now ayu...relax....i should have more gurl cousins....only 3 gurls in the family!!all dumb lazy and noe nothing boys...
i am hypocritical about being a feminist since my own "kampung home" is very genderlism-thing...all the house work us women do.......the guys all sit and wait for the food to be readied...gawd....even us gurls have to set the table....wash the dishes and even put the dishes in the sink...
i guess that is why i am soooooo leaning myself towards becoming a feminist....and not wanting to bear children esp boys into a world where they may conquer but does no work to be worthy of it....

and tins can fly....

owhkaayyy...so i start this month's "blogging" with this event of mine today...
my mum just threw 3 tins of carbonated drinks at me.....why, u ask...because first she called me lazy for not wanting to learn more about this bloody stupid and ridiculous laptop of mine (coz all i knoe is copy and paste) and that made me become even lazier and angry at her.....gawd...im a teenager...why shouldn't i be...hahah... and then she asked me what will i wear to azrina's house and i said..."antah eyh.." and HEL-LO!!of corz i dun noe wat im supposed to wear!!she shud noe that i will never knoe what i will wear eventhough the particular event starts in 5 minutes let alone for 24 hours!!issssshhhhh.....
so she screamed at me for always saying "antah eyh.."....but i just said those words once today....hmmmm.....and suddenly became histeric....and threw at first 2 tins and then i kept quiet(hello....did she want me to answer in that kind of situation???) and threw another tin at me.....i mean hel-lo....she can throw all the tins in the world coz it did not hurt at all...and dat was the funny thing...it did not hurt...and i expected it to hurt like hell....coz the tins were still full....
owh well......who cares.....the bottom line is i still dun have a daym clue which baju kurung i shud wear....heeeemmmmm...*siiggghhh*....hahahaha....
and of corz i cried....hahaha......juz for ur info...huhuhuhu....den everything was back to normal.....i was like "wateva.."
my mum has been touchy since the day my sister came home...everything she does is ok....well back to normal....my 'rents will complain everything bout my sis to me but in front of her they'll put their disgusting "happy" faces.....to hell all of them!!!!!
can't wait for school to reopen....

waaaaahhh..lama dah na blogging..ehehe...

my birthday was yesterday and im 18 and 1 day today....and i feel....hmmm...i feel....like im still me two days before and the day before and the day before that....hmmmmmmm.......
my mom kept telling me..ayu, u shud not do this and do that...juz coz im so called 18....what's the difference between the 17 year old me and the 18 and 1 day old....hahahahaha......don tell my mum that though coz all she will say is dat im still immature....but for her information....I AM IMMATURE!!hahaha...jee always call me childish at heart...and honestly, i like the sound of that.....don't you???
the thought of being an adult scares me!!hahaha...im afraid of becoming the responsibilities-driven adult who is a gnirob!*translates to boring*
i mean how can be a fun person when all i have to think about is my bills and work....eventhough now i am stuck with work...which is homework saja lah...hahaha...i mean you don get fired just coz ur homework is not finished.....do you??? :o
i am getting my driving license soon...really....hahhaha....that's the only good ting turning 18....i'll give myself 1 month til i have a legal license.....hahahaha....in your face daddy!!hahahaha....
if its according to my lurvely dad, i would only get my license when im 40 i think....if not never......gawd!am i that untrusworthy.....hahaha.....don answer that question.....
i had my nails done today also...its like a treat for me....for my birthday....sadih ku eyh...hahahaha.......and i have on this little "stickers" of flowers and all on them and they are soooo daaymmm cute!!i can't take my eyes off of my nails.....yesh yesh....lurve them......i admit it...soooo...shoot me!hahha...
another reason i had my nails was coz we played for the fund raising dinner in chungching just now.....violin lerrr.......
gawd i look soooo fat in the video...hahahhahaha.....i guess i am....seriously....i just had to say that...hahahaha

nytzzz...

sooooo...here i am..in d middle of d holiday...owh and oso d beginning of puasa...
nothing else to do but doing my homework....

puasa.......it was a breeze.....no suffering like before...time just pass like nothing....hmmmm....i guess its because of me watching korean series all day long...and i thank so much to the person that "invented" this...his name shud be carved into all history books.....*apakan ayu nie*.....

i woke up extra late today also which was one of the "things" i do to pass d time and did my physics homework....GAWD!!did i really wanted to let the time pass til sanggup bwat physics!aha.....
den there was this funny story about my lil brother....kid, sometimes they can just make us smile with their silly antics....here goes...
i was sitting on my bed flipping through my physics file and my bro saw my practical paper with a huge "F" (i mean gawd sir like i could not see d "f" til he had to it extra big) and it was no biggie to me really since its just physics. so my bro, Audi was like.."aahhh ayu apa "F" ya??" (translates to ayu what is dat "F"??) and he also said "mun dpt "B" ertinya "bagus" kan?" (if get "B" means "bagus"(good))...i was like "yeah..in a way....sooo... an "A" means awesome and *thinking really hard* an "F" means fantastic lah..." Audi being his 9 year-old self said "oooohhhhh" *with big eyes*...how sweet he actually belived his evil-influential sisiter......haha....and i thot it was d end of the story when he suddenly said " so i prefer fantastic than awesome because fantastic sounds nicer than awesome so it means i shud get more "F""...i was like....wat did i do to this boy's brain??hahahahahaa

nytzz....

You Don't Need a Man, but You Want One!

You like having a guy in your life, and overall, you prefer not to be single. You won't go out with a guy out of desperation.. you rather be alone. However, when you're single, you do tend to obsess a little over dating. Because no matter how good your single life is, it's better with a great guy around.

Do You Need a Man?

Your Inner Pop Princess Is Hilary Duff

"I'm shedding Shedding every color Trying to find a pigment of truth Beneath my skin" You're sweet and cute, but a little more complex than that.

Who's Your Inner Pop Princess?

WAAAAATTT!!!this quiz result is wrong i think!!...i dunnot like Hilary Duff to the max owhkay!!i despise her and yet they say im like her??????gaaaawwwwddd~~...heheheh.....

You Should Be In Atomic Kitten

Cute and stylish - you're the perfect little pop package. Oh, and you can sing a little too :-)

What Girl Group Should You Be In?

***Your Love Song Is***


Sitting, Waiting, Wishing by Jack Johnson

"Maybe you've been through this before
But it's my first time so please ignore
The next few lines cause they're directed at you
I can't always be waiting, waiting on you
I can't always be playing, playing your fool"

You've been waiting for love, and you're not going to wait any longer!


What Love Song Are You?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatlovesongareyouquiz/

hmmmm.......hmmmm....
where to start??????
i was quite curious...even furious really when we had "this lecture" which indicates what a woman should be and why they whould be something like dat, u know wat i mean.....
i was quite shock too when a woman herself actually agrees to this and believes in her being a lot lower than a male being.....
what happened to the waorld being equal....isn't that the same as saying that white is better than black?????
this is the 21st century and gender discrimination should not be a bother a tiny bit.....
i do not believe in marriage (im sorry to say) as it seems that a gurl's world revolves only being somebody acceptable to be married and being married......
look at my mum, she is an intelligent human being even more than my own dad and she is stuck here watching TV when she could enjoy herself growing old...
a woman is still looked at as the other sex who has to wash, tidy and cook eventhough the society would not admit to it.....
i noe a man is considered to be the leader of the family, but i think that is just a MYTH!!!...
my mum is the one organising and dealing with the family most of the time and my dad only has to supply the money......but God knows why my dad is the one getting all the credit...
i refuse to be strapped down and get "settled" or in short marry to a being which thinks us women as lower than them....
i don't want them to think us only as beautiful......
i don;t want them to even stereotyping us and comparing us with other women....
i am only protecting my right as a human being.......
i don't want the world to change...i just want me being heard as a human who is the same level as the opposite sex.....
we are capable and i still can't get over that a woman actually stereotyped her own kind being the soft one........cheh.......aaarrrgggghhhh.....
and my own family actually said indirectly that me being a girl is weak, when i was asked what i planned to be, i said i did aplly for pilot and what did he say???he said "don't, girls are way better off being a teacher".....can u belive that????!!!!!!...
i was SHOCKED!!!!!and i said i have the "standard" that they want being a pilot, i was only too young....i think i was even better than most of the guys there...i was called immature, but i think i was more mature than any of them....look at what i had experienced.......if only they knew.....they would not even want to think wat i had went through....but still i was the weaker one.......A TEACHER!!!..now im even more conviced to prove to close minded people that we may be inside a "weak body" but we r strong inside.......

sooooo.......latest deets of my life......
i went for a school trip to bandar....UBD,"the" Mall and Lapau...
it was fun really....which beats the boredom of being inside a dull and really looooongggggg classroom...
arah ubd we met up with chris, and i really missed her, and she hasn't change much since last year,but gurlllfreeennn ur getting much too small for your own good...i guess because of all the walking around that HUGE place...seriously,we did walk around the place and it was tiring let me tell ya.....
and that taught me not to underestimate the Uni...huhuhu...talk about humungus...owh well....
coz the only "uni" i ever went to was my sis's place and i don't even think that is a "uni"...hahahah.....i really wanted to see the hostel and where chriz now "lives"...however, i noe that was impossible.....
and we went inside the library and it was as big as "SAS"...seriously......huhuhu...
now i feel like im really from a "kampong"...hahahaha......
soooooo...after that we went to "the" mall....the usuals...makan2...makan2...and makan2...hahahah.....and i lurved walking round with Yonne and Armah.....gila gila bah kame tiga....hahahaa.....
let's do it again on Monday...hehehe
and after that we went to lapau....which is a place where "big" functions which includes His Majesty are held...it was niiiiceeeee~~~......and that is all i can say...and grand....heheh....

burst piczzz

we were supposed to be "angry" and make mad faces this time....but helll noooo.....keluar mcm sorang sedih...and dua orang bangang...apa punya models leeerrr.........
i like this picture.....SILLY FACES.....hehehehe.....and yessshhhh TOTALLY silly....hehehehe......it was soooo much fun i got totally addicted to it sampai sangal kale Kidah and Yonne...i hope not....hehehe....
yeeesshhh Kidah lick me again.....noooootttt....Kidah honestly you look totally out of place gurlfren....hahahaha....but funny lah the three of us looking up at the same spot at the exact same time and we didn't even planned it....."model instinct"....wawawawawa...........
and yeah..i agree...after looking at the above pics...this is the most boring one...hehehehe.......but look how happy Kidah is....i know, i know Kid you like taking pictures with me...besa lah.....hahahaha....kambang ayu eyh.......

reminiscing.....

i was just reminiscing about the fun days a few years ago.....before i was close friends with Chriz and yonne and everyone else who mattered....the time when i was best friends with Azrina, Sharon, Des and Celes...those were really good times.....i can't believe how everything could change sooo easily and soooo fast and i'm really glad that everything is OK now eventhough it's not back to the way we were......cause i'm sooooo sure i wouldn't want to change even the tiniest bit.........at least i would know how they actually did matter in my life....
OK ayu stop it....you sound like you are gonna collapse and die in a second....
welll....it's just that i kinda felt left out when i heard they made a small reunion between my old BFs for Desiree........it was really sad,you know and i felt a tinnie bit left out..to keep it simple.....how could a group of really close friends promising to never even think of breaking apart could actually go our separate ways....and it shows that as we grow old we could grow further apart as wel.....i'm not blaming anyone....just remembering......
but then if i was still with them i wouldn't even get the chance to know really good friends like my present friends........
the world goes round and round.......as the wheels of the bus go round and round.......
good times....good times.....

it hurts soooooo much that i could not bear it any longer...huhhuhuhuhu....
am not talking bout anything else but my hand!!...my right hand leeerrr to be exact.....
naaaawww...it's just that yesterday i played badminton kan and den brabish kan smash rah my brother baaahhh...hahaha...kan tunjuk terer leeerrr....kale nya nah tulah ayu, ayu.....cramp tia.....
i mean it felt a bit okay this morning, but then i had this daym history exam and i had to write reaaaalllllyyyyy fast and looooooooonnnggggg...mana inda kan putus rasa tangan ku baaahhh....huhuhuhu.....my hand was sweating like hell and it was literally shaking like a leaf...and it still is shaking right now as we speak....wawawaw....
i kinda like writing essays cause i like writing...and i know it's a History essay but i ave it a kinda "twist" and TRIED to make it sound real interesting...and for me it was good....hahahah....perasan.....
i could not even lift my bloody hand after the test apa lage kan angkat my bloody files!!eeerrrgghhhhh........i should have rented a locker!!........and i asked sharon to massage my hand....isn't she sweet....yeeeeaaaahhhhh.........it felt a lot better....manja jua tangan ku nie.....ahahahaha............
bah bah...i try to finish my maths hw first kaaaayyy.......

sunday fever....

hmmmm........sunday sunday sunday.....
d usuals....
but today i learn how to change a car tyre.....seriously....it was EASY...if i say so myself....hahahahha.....i mean why do people make a big fuss about it and us girls could easily fix a tyre in a jiffy let me tell ya....
buuuuuuutttt.......i wouldn't change a tyre if there was a guy nearby i mean why do I have to make my hands dirty and please let the guys have their egos....hahahaha...
anyway, it would be fun to know wether that guy knows how to change a tyre or not....and it would be fun to see a guy look "macho" in front of us.....hahahahaha.....
and also it would be a good thing during interviews when they ask u questions......but the thing is im not really good in identifying tools by their names...sooooo just now i made nicknames for the tools....one was Jack....one wa Tom and d other was Harry.....u know as in Tom, Dick and Harry...hahahahahaha........d Jack tool was right i guess d rest was all bullshit....hahahahaa......
owhhhh weeelll....

anyway, Last week we had a maths test and i totally flunked mine.....it was like a huge big F!!!!.....like 29% only........it was Shocking but i was ok with it coz i knew i deserved that mark.....the funny thing was a lot of my friends couldn.t believe it and so did i for a while.....hahahahaah....
my maths teacher was like giving me the "evil eye" actually the "mad eye" hahahaha...and at first i was like "what did i do now???"..hahahahaa......and he kept asking how did i feel and i said i was ok with it and he kept wanting to make me sad and angry and my answer was always the same so instead that made him angry..hahahhaa.....

nytzzz then peeps.....
i need to sleep my eyes are swollen and my throat hurts like hell......too much eating rambutan and mata kucing...hahahahha...

mwackzzz....

this was taken time we were sitting at the chairs supposedly for the guest of honours in Thursday....the chair was sooo comfy so we started to sleep...hahahaha



the two pictures was taken just now when we were waiting for my 'rents to pick us up.....eksen kan jadi American's Next Top Models....hahahahha..........

my head is seriously cracking!!!!!....
gawd...i have to a report on the developments of NUCLEAR WEAPON and its for HISTORY....i mean big humungous HEL-LO.....history and how the nukes work??????
GAWD!!!!!!...its like chemistry all over again and i took history to get away from CHEMISTRY!!!!!.....
aaaarrrgghhhh....
and my group members were like, u knoe physics....and hell NO...i don't know any thing about nukes coz its NOT physics..its CHEMISTRY!!!!hahahhaha...
i pity them and myself.....we don;t know anything about neutrons and uranium in details...i've learnt them in F5 only~~......

now this report thingie...maaaaaannnn....what did my history teacher want me to write again?????and azrina was like its not an essay, but for HELL YEAH..it looks like an essay to me......hahahahahah........seriously, im cracking up....
im not mad at azrina..of corz not...im just mad at me for not listening and not asking what the teacher really wanted and what did i do when she asked???i said i noe wat to do and kept on talking......daaayyyyyyymmmm......
im just gonna write this thing up and daym anything else...

im also pissed at this morning...
having to wake up early on a FRIDAY unschool day......gaawwwdd...just to what???sjow myself in the hall......what a life we prefects have....i could have slept and relaxed my mind a bit just now....but noooooo..........i was scolded by the teacher for blocking her way and smacking me with the tree....*very much exaggerated*...i hope tomorrow will be a good day.....

soooooooo.....
see ya peeps...
labslabs...
gotta continue with the stoooopid report.........
what was i thinking volunteering for doing the report????hahahahha
nytzzz....

i just finished reading the last book of harry potter...and it wasn't a diappointment at all...im rather pleased with the ending....it was quite cute really...hehehe
i knoe i shouldn't say much here,coz kidah usually reads my blog, owh weeeellll....
kid im going to dicuss bout the HP book ok....sooooo.....this is ur chance to go away before reading this page fully....*peace*

soooo...i knoe i have this huge maths test tomorrow and i have tons and tons of homework....but the feeling of wanting to knoe the ending was really much tempting......soooo.....yesterday, after purchasing the book, i read the first few pages in the car, and let me tell you something...reading in a moving car gives me a terrible headache, to put it simply, carsick.......but.....because of HP i didn't feel anything......hahaha.......psychological problems...hahaha......

anyway, the part where a lot of people kept on dying was really sad u knoe, especially when FRED died.........it was just unbelievable, plus both remus and Tonks died was even more shocking!!......the first death in the book which gave me grief was HEdwig.......just the beginning of the chapter and she was dead....pity pity....
to summarise, this book has a lot of killing and unexpected deaths....it is quite dark...
the annoying part was when Hermione kept on crying.........and its really funny that in the movies they made her look like somebody who was strong and not easily hurt...owh weelll......
i really love the ending did i tell u all that???? "the next 19 years"....siggghhhh.....
it was kinda weird reading "lily,james and albus" names for Harry's children......but it was cute~~......
i really didn't expect harry to die....i mean, the other must die while the other survives(watever)..indicates that only one of them that is eother HP or Vordemort would die...and common sense tells me that if HP died then Voldemort would live and what would happen to the wizarding world, or even the whole world........sooooo....to have a happy ending...voldemort must die right....like HEL-LO~~~..........
the cutest thing at last was knowing that Neville is a professor in Hogwarts........cute right~~....
who would have expected that boy to be somebody very different.......anyway, i wonder what HP, hermione and ron work as......hahahaha...
imagine HP as the minister for magic......i wouldn't be surprised.......hahahaha........
Ron and Hermoine married to each other that was not a surprise at all........

owh welll....all's welll that ends weelllll.......

buhbye....
need to study for maths and physics......
mwackzzzzz.....

my mum...
she can soooo tactless sometimes...
just 2 days ago i vowed to dislike her more than usual.....
u knoe...her being her...i knoe lotsa my frens says its kewl to have a mum like her.....gawd....she can be soooo unpredictable sometimes....and sooo insensitive that she always think that she is always right...and she thinks that she is soooo daym understanding...isssshhhh...
it piss me off loads of time........
if i have to be with her for like once a weelk...its ok....but actually living with her.....gawd.......

sooooooo.....i was like hating her.......u knoe teenagers...
and den rah WYWY i was like having this nasty headache which spoils my appetite and im telling i have a huge appetite always....and here i was feeling uber dizzy and i couldnt stand it i told my mum...and being a mum that she is....ahe gave me this nice back rub which miraculously made my pain go away....and my appetite back...soooo...i had this stupid vow *again*...not to hate my mum much if she constantly give me a back rub when im not feeling well...hahahahah...

nytzzz...
sok kan ke pdg g...

ayu's world....

the pictures taken from bandar when we were going to watch Harry Potter movie...

i am overly excited from waiting for the last HP book...and i am very grateful that the people of brunei are not really fond of reading HP, coz in other countries, they had to camp out for 11 days....just to buy a HP book...i pity them...but hey, such sacrifices should be made.....and i am glad that that is not one of the sacrifices of becoming a BIG fan of HP really...

i read the sixth book kale nya time i read when dumbledore died...i cried again...it was that sad...huhuuhuhuhu............i know i read it before and i knew he died...but i cried lage tia...it was pathetic ayu....hahahaha

labs labs...

i won't be long here...so all im going to write are comments about the HArry Potter movie that i watched yesterday...
it was loads of fun...
but let me tell you something.....i was quite disappointed really and i blame the director.....hahahahaha.....however, because of the present of my long missed lorve, Rupert Grint @ Ron, i was quite satisfied really....
why i said it was a BIG disappoinment....
HELLLOOOOOO.....where was the quidditch match????????i mean, i longed for that broomstick match.......it's usually really interesting, and of all the parts that theyleft out was my beloved QUIdditch....WHATTHEF*CK!!!!!....hahahahaha....
then, the parts where Ron came out was like little.......i could actually count how many times he came out in the movie!!!(a bit of an exaggeration there...hehe)....
and the kissing scene!!!!.....i still feel awfully weird whenever i watched them kisiing....i mean HP and Cho kissing...hahhahaha.........its like...it felt like HP was growing up..know what i mean???im a fan of Harry Potter so i keep track of what's going on around the main characters as much as ppossible and it never occured to me that they have grown...and its like looking at your children all grown up and going to be leaving you at last........
GAWD, the last book is coming out and that means the end of HP books!!!!!!!!...it would be a great great grieve on my part as i have grown up with them also....*smiling a sad smile*....owh weeellll.........2 more movies to go...........

nytzzz.....
Ayu...

the pictures were taken this morning on the way back from lunch at the chicken rice shop......i had to bribe my brither to take the pictures with me....saying that he will be banned from playing my PS2 and also cannot play games in my mobile...sooo...that is why you people can see that his smiles were forced and he really resented from taking pictures with me....hahaha....coz he knows that i am going to put these pics in my blog......hahahahaha...just look at his specs in the 1st picture....hialrious right....

jus yesterday i was trying to take a video of him....being scared to death by none other than me....when he's surprised it is sooo funny soooo any chance that i have i will always try to scare him especially when i am watching ghost stories....hahahahah...i AM a cruel sister....that is one of my fave past time......

today was a very tiring day...weeellll...eventhough it is still summer kan.....i did a spring cleaning on my room....and let me tell you...it was a hard work coz my room is like ultra dusty behind the cupboards and stuff.....and this spring cleaning was like on the entire room coz i changed / rearranged all my stuff........and i changed my bed, so it is smaller than the previous one......and shorter....no more high beds.......boooooreeeeeennnkkk~~......

gawddd....why THINGS always happen to me???from one thing to the next.....
i mean there is never a dull moment in my life...and sumthing always takes place......sumthing which i may call very interesting....
like today for example, gawd.......im just going to keep this short>>>>
THERE WAS A LIZARD IN MY KAIN DURING PHYSICS!!!!
maaaannn....that freaked me out terribly....i mean i am kinda ok with the stoopid lizards before in my life.....issshhhh.....and coz of today i was like traumatised!!!!i mean it...i know kidah said i was kinda "emotional" hahahahha.....but i was SO not....i mean yucckkzzzz to the max.......it was HUGE!!...the cicak i mean......like double the normal cicak size.....eeeeeeeee.....i could feel it squishy on my leg....gawd........
i was like...."ain, i think there's sumthing in my kain" and she practically jumped off her chair......apa lage aku...join lah......and i was like shaking my kain and shouting and kept saying "disgusting....disgusting"...hahahahaha....
it was funny realy....it would be a lot funnier if it happened to somebody else...that's for sure......aaaaaaaarrrrggghhhhhh..........
life could be mean...........
hahahahaha.......owh weeelll........
that's teenage life...never a dull moment...
c nabil lage jht....he kept on ding the cicak imitation...which still freaks me out...and i kept holding my leg whee i found the squiggly cocak....and i kept shuddering....eeeeee.....
bah eyh.....
this post is dedicated to all cicakzzz....i appreciate your co-existance coz i know you eat spiders which i really am grateful for coz i hate spiders mmore than cicak.....ut please...all im asking for is to keep your bloody distance....far far far awaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy from me......

nytie nytzzzz

aaaaaaaaaaaa~~

why why why why why????wat were we seriously thinking????O.M.G!!!!!!
weeelll...let's get to the beginning~~......
hmmmm...just now i went to the mumong complex sal drg c jeerah bawa....you know,just to pass the time sooo...aku ikot lahh.....kan kan kan....i mean drpd spending time just watching tv and having my so called precious time being a couch potato.....
soooooo....it was starting to get boring kan.....soooooo....me being me and jeerah being herself(i guess)....we went lah to find sumthing "interesting"....hahahah....jadi lama kale ah i haven't go to the swimming pool sana.....kame dua kan lepak lah....
and what my mum always say, "ada udang d sebalik rock".....the both of us trus lah cuci mata....hwahwahwa.......
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnddd...when we were there i had th shock of my life.......i saw a HAWT body from none other than the most annoying guy i GP class....hahahhaha......my opinions about him drastically changed....i was thinking...i have to start being nice to him wakakakakaka..........me and jeerah kept saying "he's hawt!!!!".....hahahaha

after that i was like, "what the hell were we doing there???"i mean....c jeremy pun tanya cam "why wre you people here?"...and me being me i said "lyat kamu lah"....hahahahaha....paloi paloi.........
(wait people....we are not on the best part yet...)
sooooo...c jeerah cam ambil video ambil video...and i was looking at her like she was crazeee...i was like"for what????krg malam kan lyat muka nya????yuckzzz....."......hey...honestly, it was not a bad idea....wahahahahahah..........
kale nya tym drg smua dah kuar kan from the swimming pool....hehehehe.....me being my incredibly stoopid self....aku ambil gmbr blakang c J....in front of his friends....stooopid kan that!!!!...omg!!!...and the worst thing was that kwn nya ternampak!!!!!....shyyyyttt.......he was smiling like a sillygoon....ish ish.....ish ish.........and he sed, "your secret is safe with me!!"...hahahahha..........i still can't believe i even did dat...and i kept on smiling all the way to and from makan dinner tadi...it was ridiculously hilarious.....hahahahahahha.........

gawd...this memory would last me my whole lifetime....for the week lah at least...hahahahaha.....
owh weeelllll......

SHYT....inda ku mao ke kulah esok eyh!!!!.....mana tau kawannya told him....i would be DEAD...with a capital D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

owh nway, i still have his picture....his back really...not his front...yatah kawannya thought i was checking out c J punya butt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....hahahahaha......funny funnny.....
i want to put it here...p i would be the one being humiliated kale bah krg.......gawd...ayu........*knocking self on head*....hahahahaahahah.......

im soorrryy if the story is like confusing and like paloi usulnya.....coz im still emotional....wakakakak.......tell you nore what will happen sok k.....

nytie nytzzzz...

can't stand d excitement really~~

honestly, im not a fan of harry potter...to be more specific, daniel radcliffe.....however when i saw him kissing c cho chang, there a twinge of jealousy somewhere...i mean... hello....in the movie he was like not handsome and cute anymore....mcm... sooo manly he looks.....it's scary...hahahaha.....but my ron still maintain, in my eyes that is.........i love his dumb clumsy look....it actually turns me on...hahahhahaha.....*knock self on head*.....

ooowwwhhh...i seriously cannot contain my excitement for the next HP book and movie.....gawd!!!...im soooooo in lurve with them....serious!!!...hahahaha.......

HARRY POTTER CRAZO-MANIA is coming soon and i can't wait to be a part of it....i need to find HP things....pencil box,stationaries.....books.......aaaaaaaaaaarrrgggghhhh!!!!!!......i'm trying to retain myself from buying more bras this month, so that i have money to buy HP thingies....hahahhaa....another obsession of mine is buying cute bras.....coloured ones especially....hehehehe...HOT PINK lage tu....hahahaha...eventhough i still have loads and loads of them.....

hehehe....gtg...

it's past my bedtime......

lorve you people loads~~~...

farewell party amin

from left= zaza, zati, ayu, yonne....
amin and "dasar penipu"....sorry, i seriously don't knoe his name...hahaha.....azrina yg panggil ya dat name...so now it's stuck lah, that his name is "dasar penipu"....i pity him...hahahaha....nyway, on the cake was "minah, lurve cabin crews".....serious!!!...the cabin crews are me, azrina and yonne......planning dah awal....after f6 kan join cabin crews......would'nt that be interesting to watch~~....
from left= yonne, azrina, vela, nisah, ayu.....it's the St. ANgela's group that day......i always have lots of fun with SAS gurls....i donnoe y......hehehehe......and im telling you, its hard to find friends like them.......eventhough we had our differences in the past, things managed to work well in the end.......kewl eyh....

thought of the day.......
how come gurls who do not deserved to be liked gets lots of guys...when here i am considered to be a good preson...nada tia......weellllll,persan nya aku ckp diri baik..hahahaha...
why why why why????

and people take my natural unseriousness...sooooo seriously......huhuhuhu.......i mean, it's fun flirting and having fun looking at guys, buyt that doesn't mean that i want to marry them.......hel-lo!!!!!!..........

nytie nyt people~~

why does good friends tend to fade away soooo quickly.....they pass us like wind.....without knowing that they actually had an impact in our lives....and if they do stay...time would pass so quickly as if our lives were fastforwarded and our time spent together would be THAT short......2 years felt like 2 months and 2 months feels like 2 weeks.......

we had a farewell party for a dear friend of ours yesterday......i've known him only for a few months, but he is a good friend.....soooo, i was thinking of dedicating this post about him and putting our farewell pictures, but this stooopid lagging thing..ishhh...time anie jua ya kan belabih....gawd~~...hahahaha......

nway....he was a good ps friend.....just like one of us....us. weird st.angela's girls,that is why he clicked with us girls perfectly unlike any other boys.....he is fun.....

bah eyh.........
mwackkkzzzz poeple........lurve ya.......*big kiss on screen*

so...here i was eating my luch after school......engrossed soo much coz being that hungry...then, my mom shoved me postcards from thailand and i was estatic i'm telling you......overly joyed....
i mean hel-lo....who isn't after receiving thier first ever postcards,i thought it was form "postcrossing" kali nya.....ish ish ish...it was from my own father..but hey ayu, don't complain much, at least my dad remembers my so- called-latest-hobby....hehehehe.......
my dad told me that he practically threatened the hotel people to send me postcards back here in brunei..........
now i'm waiting for one from malaysia.....it's form postcrossing....sooo excited nya saya....eventhough form malaysia...but it's the postcards that count...hahahah

i'm having a slight stomach ache roght now coz yesterday i was stuffing my face with sushi...hahahahah....my sister's boyfriend belanja...so hell yeah, i didn't want to miss this opportunity(heheh),so i was like ordering this...eating that...until my pants were too tight....and in the car on the wway hme, i had to open my belt...hahahaha...paloi paloi.....i don't knoe,every time i went to the japanese restaurant i always tend to eat soo much..i mean...i love japanese food that much...hahaha...the next time he's belanja-ing....i want to try korean food lage......ooowwhhhh.....their food look so nice when they eat it in korean dramas kan kan kan.........

gawd~~.....esok phisics test.....i am sooo lazy kan blajar...coz u knoe.....if i study pun fail jua maseh kan....sooo...what's the point......at least i'm happy that i got the highest for history...i knoe i shouldn't be sooo bangga...but hey at least wah.....for a first timer....hahahaha

cioazzzz.............

i just read kidah's blog and i have to disagree about her saying that she dilikes dreams.....at night..and im not trying to be yellow-minded here....not wet dreams hel-lo!!!hahahahha....so yeah,i lurve dreams...you know when we were young and our mum's would be like "ayu,wash your legs before going to sleep so that you won't have nightmares"........remember????
but now that i'm a teenager and stuff, my mum wouldn't bug me no more about those stuff.....so every night...after brushing my teeth i wouldn't wash my feet!!!terrible right.....but hey people have their flaws...hahahaha..soooo...i did all that cause why you ask...weelllll....that is coz i WANT to have nightmares and dreams.......it's like my very own dreamland and i could be anyone.......and i found out a way to "control" what i want to dream about.....before i fall asleep i would concentrate on one thing and one thing only.......weelll....that's just me,it's not a talent or whatever coz i always hear that dreams are just like your sub-conscious thoughts.......soooo.....you get the picture right????hehehe...it's fun........
my number one dream that i REALLY love is when falling from somewhere high and you feel like you're in a roller coaster....ooooohhh...the rush....luuurve it~~~......aaahhhhhh.........

right now im suck reading "the rebel fairy". it's really an interesting story.......it's cute!!!...one thing i like about reading is that there is no limit to my imagination....which is sometimes stfled when i watch movies........sooo....this book im reading is about two fairies that made mischief and changed the lives of 4 adults........change is not a right term actually.....those two troublemakers made those 4 lives into a tangled web........i couldn;t stop laughing......it's THAT good......i knoe!!!...hahahaha.........

sooo....gtg.......
mwackkkzzz.......

your eyes....
when i met your gaze
i yearned to look even moe
but that look, who is it for?

so much that i need to say
to you, i'm sorry it's not today
you make me shy
i couldn' try
to talk to you, to smile at you

cause you're right for me
how long it took me to see
that you and I, we're meant to be

thought of the day

fat and ugly....y being fat is always connected to being ugly????
i never understood that ever....i mean....y????? being skinny as a plank is beautiful???i dun think sooo....its discrimination....prejudice...ufair to the plus size society....though i am now comfortable with my own body,however after watching tv and magazines and stuff i sumtyms feel uncomfortable in this body of mine.....
i hate that......
evethough they press on saying that nomore below size 0 models and totally saying big is beutiful...its all like not a reality...its like just people saying what other people likes to hear.........hahahahahaha.......
and also being big is connected to people who are lazy and stuff........gawd......hel-lo!!!!...
like me im big because ilike food...hahahaha....im obsessed....but im not lazy......tho now i sit and watch tv all day.....hahahahha.........

people always say whats inside counts.......i meant i have a personality and yet im sooo single that i think i scare guys away.........hahahahaha...

gtg.........c ya.......

tell me

i love you so much to let you go
i can't bear the thought that you're going
i thought we were meant for each other before
without you next to me i feel like dying

tell me that you love me once
tell me that you cared
tell me that you'll give me another chance
for the times we've been together and shared

i want you to look into my eyes
i want your arms around me
tell me all i heard are stupid lies
and that you want to stay beside me

daym daym.......mana tia yg ku tulis tadi tu????????ngaleh sha ku taip.......weelll.....actually its ok....i don't mind much coz u see...i like typing......but i can't remeber what i wrote juz now....i have short term memory loss.......watever that is.......

soooo.....ahhhhhh...i was telling you people what a great fantastic awesome holiday i had this past few days...NOT!!!!...i was complaining.......hmmm...i watched oprah tadi and they were talking about a "free complaint world".......hmmmm...i was thinking maybe i should like start to not complain....but here i was complaining again......i mean what is life without complaints kan???it wud be soooo dull.......and i wud be ultra weird if everyone started to be freakishly optimistic.......i dun noe........but i knoe i sound like somebody who looks at a glass and say its half empty.....but it depends on what kind of day im having......but actually most of the time i see a glass and say its just totally full....not half empty or even half full......my motto is jgn alang2 bah kan.....

yesterday i went to bandar with my mum and dad see...and we met with this guy who interviewed me for the leadership camp in Sabah...he is from Rotary Club.....sooo...he started to fill us in what they did recently....waht the club did to be exact...and they said they organised a blood drive...and i was like whattheHEll is that??? kalinya once i found out....my rents started to tell me the benefits of donating blood........and i was like till im dead bru tah i want to give my blood...and my mum was like "you cpuld save a life" and i was like there are like 1million other ways to save a life...and when its a persons time to die.....just die....don't susahkan orang lain ok.....hey....dat day i was looking at the glass toatlly empty....why?????coz first my slippers string broke and i was kinda pissed with my dad and all.....soooooooo there.........long story short i was not in a good mood......

ayu u're complaining....
who careS????

hmmm...before..like a few years back i didn't like stepping out of the house....why????coz i was soooo self concious....i looked in the mirror and i see a very ugly me....nothing was right at all......and now....i guess i found the right clothes and i felt normal.....i mean last time my hair was like wrong my clothes felt not right and my feet are like too big......now...hmmm....now is different...but sometimes that ugly side of me wud start bubbling up.......wwellllll....teenage life......veyr confusing and yet its the best time of life....(what am i saying>>)

nyt nyt people...im gonna wallow in my self pity then...and think about my pathetic life....

im sitting here on the floor.....with the lappy on my lap......and mosquitoes biting me...and u wud expect me being outside...but hell no...im in my room......yesh....ada mosquitoes.......those mosquitoes had evolved to becum some freak of nature...adaptation...i mean......this room is cold......really cold...and yet...maseh lage wah nyamuk nie hidup.....ask ppl who stayed in this house...i dun noe why they say my house is usually really cold...macam hspital kan kan...hahahha....

my papa just came back from bangkok yesterday...and he bought like 5 bags fro me...and one them ada muka this celebrity and people guess who...i mean gawd...i nearly fainted......its PAROS HILTON....i mean man....imaine aku pakai d skulah..i wud be DAYm embarassing.....but i wud never tell that to papa....he wud be devastated....but hey its not my fault...i didn asked him to buy any PH bags.....kalau nama nya ngannya i wud accept(maybe) but this is her face!!!!!!!!!....but i am soooooo thankful that he didn buy HILARY DUFF punya muka.....atu mati tarus ku tu..............ahhhahahahahaha.......that is like major embarassment much!!!!!!!
and papa promised to get slipper for me.......i gave him my size and everything...but him being a guy and all...of corz bought the wrong size.....5 slippers small for my huge (with a big H) feet.....hahahahah....soooo....mama had to use all 5 now......lucky her......curse u small footed people......harharhar...
sooo here we were yesterday in mall...........papa being his guilty self promised to buy me peep toe slippers.........and he actually called it slipper yg toe nya terkeluar.......gawd............maaaaaannnn...........guys.....no common sense...mana ada org kai slipper toe nya terkeluar.........

hahhahaha.......gtg.......ngantok ku~~

nytie nytzzz....

sha~~

this picture with the trees is taken from lagoon near my house...not really near lah....at least 5 minutes walk from here......
lawa kan~~...i really lurve the purple lining...it actually beats the usual "silver lining" thingie....its soooooo romantic kan kan...hahah..
at this time ngam2 maghrib...and you would ask what was she doing there time maghrib...di lagoon lage tu...lepak2......jadi setan jap......yesh...i was quite guilty being there that time.........but whattheheck...if i wasn't there i wouldn't have captured this nice moment,yeah???
lurve it lurve it............


and the picture below was taken last year when i just arrived in london.....to be exact,it was in cranfield...my sis's place for now......i was alone in my sis's room nothing to do...so i went to look out her window...wanted to absorb the secnery...kale nya....apa kan d liat!!!!nothing...and it was just 4 pm........... terkezzut gue........i was like,am i dreaming or was my watch being its "crack" self..............then it occured to me that,heL-Lo ayu,it was winter time!!and it was soooo cold!!!! *hit self on head* like duuhhh...nam nya winter.....inda kan panas........well,to tell yah people the truth i expected S-N-O-W!!............p unlucky me.......no snow for little old me!!!sadih ku to the max!!!!!

well....got to go....mamam...ehe

na...na...na...~~

lalalala....im just the girl next door.....yeah yeah...........*singing*
wait.....im not a girl next door...there's no one next door......weeellll...not really.......*watever ayu~~*

gawsh...help me!!...i have never send a postcard in my WHOLE life.........i mean...what is the use of the oh-so-cool-and-fast internet kan kan..........yesh~...here i was sitting in front of my desk......confused and puzzled and thinking what to write to a person who knows nothing about your country and me,knowing nothing about theirs........
FOR GOODNESS SAKE,i have never ever send anything through mail!!!snail mail that is.....sowe sowe..i knoe you all are like...what the hell is she talking about.....nada....i just wanted to start doing something useful in my short teenage life.........haha.....i knoe you all are still like...whatthef*ck is she writing about........hmmmm...biar tia dulu.....if its "working" for me...then i'll keep you people posted......

buhbye for now.....

the irony of being ironic and seeing irony in things that are ironic..haha

i got the tilte when i had the difficulty of trying to get to sleep yesterday...
i just found out what irony or being ironic actually means....haha i don't know,it's just that i got confused what i ACTUALLY means..........

gawd....i started to develop a dislike to clowns recently...and dat dislike grew even more when i watched "supernatural" just now.....my hair all stood up and i kept my eyes closed the whole time....daym they are soooooo creepy.....actually,the first time i got creepy crawlies about a clown was when i saw "IT"...no no no.....to be more specific...when i saw the story,"it"'s cover....i never actually watched the movie.....i just "heard" it......know what i mean *winks winks*.....

back to the irony and ironic thingie.............here we are (not actually "we") trying to stop piracy,as in,THE piracy and yet, we actually celebrate it.....as in making a movie out of pirates....(pirates of the carribean bah)....hahaha....lame kinda irony ryt...but hey, im trying....trying daym hard.........

owh well.......buhbye

i like~~

<=gambar time tadi no class history.......rah kanteen...........

hahahaha.....terkezzut ku eyh blogku berubah....i was like......daym that looks different.....different but in a good way........it looks totally cute...and very retro...yesh yesh~~

naaaahhh......because of that i forgot whati wanted to say~~

weeelll....weeelll.......my exam marks kana bage sudah~~

hmmmmmmm............good to bad or the other way round?????

GP - 68......a good C.....hehe

Maths - 68...another C........

Physics - 34...hahaha.....a veeerryyy good fat U...hahaha...well i expected that.......sikit sha wah org pass..like 7 out of the whole physics sets....

sowee....distractions....here i was engrossed in blogging...kale nya kana bawa group chat ma drg viknesh and all.......i was like....owhkay.....im gonna be DISTRACTED...again.....hhahaha....and i was like...no problem...it wud be fun.....and they started to be gila2.........dat is how they are......fun~~~....when i feel like it...and now is NOT the time......im suposed to remember something that i wanted to write here....but noooooooooooooooooooo~~~..........u all make me blurrer....by chatting in ur own s-ing way.....and i mean it in a good way.......really!!

gawd...here they go again......they can really grab my attention......haarhar.......

my legs are painful....my back hurts and i exhausted...............

my shoe alum g sampai 4 bulan udah tia koyak rabak......hahahaha....

i was like......daym it...napa tia ya.......and i thought....those bloody stairs..........

i have no other shoes to wear tomorrow............GDI~~

kai selipar jua ku nie krg...............ok...that is a lie..........gawd...i lie a lot jua nowadays~~

i mish my kittens.........*sob sob*.......

mana dorang kan?????i mean.....inda kan ilang catu sha kan???????

i mish them looking at me with goo goo eyes....begging for MORE food.......

and dem sunbathing on the "welcome" mat.........near the door......waiting to grab the chance to dash into the house.......hahhahahaha.....bercerita aku bah...................emotional..........owh well...life goes on~~~

emo~~...who ARE emos??????people who are emotional????

i mean....punks...people consider them like "nobodies" but i know most of the punks are not~~.....soooooooo...who are they??????apa kan??????

aaaaahhh~~

im free.....tell the world that im free............for now lah~~....hahaha
no more tests....no more stress.....actually,its a lie to say that i was stress during the exam time...coz let me tell you...i wud be really2 surprised if i got above C......i mean....all i did was becoming a couch-potato.....i wanna goo back to skul!!!!!haha

hmm...what did i do the last few days...owh yeah...i watched pirates of the carribean....well well...all i can say bout that movie was.......veeeerrryyyyy disappointing...i mean gawd...i practically snoozed........*that's a lie*
but true its like BOH-RENK........
i sooo prefer shrek 3...........i mean i laughed so loud when i watched that movie...its hilarious......
hehehe......its a movie that i could relate to.............arah pirates tu all they did was fight fight fight..................eventhough there was hottie orlando bloom *half drool*....and "witty jack sparrow" *said it with calypso's accent* hahahaha.........

i was shocked.....coz ada dvd shrek 3 kluar dah....when actually premier nya on 31st may............hahahaha...........thanks a lot to piracy~~..............i SALUTE you!!!!.hahahaha..........im bored~~

because of my boredness.....hahaha....boredness....apa nya ayu nie......
i wanted to say.......boredom......boredom.........aha............*continuation*....bacause of that i watched EUREKA.....7 epi total....in ONE day!!!...hahahah......syok eyh...terkeluar pun inda biji mata ku~~...........but seriously...one pf my eyes.......merah jadi nya..sepet sebalah bah....hahahha.........atu inda plg syiok~~
if it still is red till tomorrow...ill be like WhatTheF*ck.............and if any of u hear a scream tomorrow...aku tah tu~~...hahahahah

gawd...i can't believe im going to say this....but...i sooooo sooo sooooo mish skul....that my heartached..........gawd...ayu~~dramatic much~~
im sooooooo gonna flood myself with "tea tayek" esok eyh......owwwhhh.....*yum yum*

bah eyh~~~.....

yesh~!!!!cuti 3 days...!!!!relax.....*long sigh*...hahahaha.....
and den monday MATHS TEST!!!

actually i prefer to go to school then stuck at home doing nothing.....in school dapat ceta2...lepak2......asta.......hahahahahahh........

gawd~~.....do i look that young???i mean...people thought im like 2 years younger then im supposed to be~~....welllllllll..its a compliment but,i get fed up sumtimes too.....
there's this time...my dad's fren's wife thought that i was in form 3...and another fren of my mum thought i was 14!!....gawd...and this guy at skul thought i was going to be 16 in september......gawd~~.........i mean yesh sumtimes i can be VERY childish....but come on people....

i haven't had my bath today.....and im still in my pajamas....hahahah......(bau eyh)...now its already 5.30 in the evening!!all i did today was finish watching "heroes" dvd til the 20th epi and sambung lyat ceta "eureka"...2 epi only...and den continue watching "georgia rule" til 4.30.....and den i went online til now.........yesh yesh...what a "glamorous" life i live in....hahahahaha.....

owh well.......i can't stand even looking at myself...i look like i had a hang-over.............
hahahahah........ayu,baik tah ko mandi abish nie.......hahahaha.........

buhbye~~
later den~~

apa eyh???

i knoe i knoe...im supposed to study for physics....and i shouldn't be online....but hey.....who could resist the laptop's temptations~~....*big grin*

what did i do today????owh yesh~~instead of studying at home...i went to skul~~history punya pasal....yesh ayu...blame it on history~~...*evil laugh*hahahahahaha

my brother did a big "no-no" today....he actually lied to my mum....not a small lie that's for sure......gawd....n yet he is still 9 years old...imagine....when i was 9....all i did was play with my barbies and dolls......ok...that IS a lie......
he sed he got extra class today,but all he did was play computer games in scholl til 4 in the afternoon....hahaha.......pandai dah nipu bah~~
n he sed his frens asked him to lie to my 'rents........yeah ryt~~~........and what???who do u think u are to actually follow what your stoooopid lil frens say........ouch!u r soooo not my brother audi....make ppl follow what u say...not the other way round k brother~~

all im saying is that...if u want to lie....u have to use ur BRAIN also..........
u can't actually lie to a liar,can u???hahahahahaha......

hahaha....bwat advertisement ku bah........

yoseh ayu......pandai ayu dah simpan picture........bangga nay aku~~~*pat self at back*

lawa kan my shampoo......ehehehe.....i bought it sal ya cute.....you knoe me...anything cute...i wud definitely grab............wat ever~~

mana2 sha tah~~

the shampoo i finally bought

i went shopping around BELAIT jus now.......just to find the right shampoo for me....yesh....im a choosy person...sumtyms.......d real truth is that...my mum wudn let me use dove anymore.....my fave shampoo of all times......she was like...i dun like d smell....too "wangi".....ish ish......soooooooo....me being me...i made her life a living hell *jus for today* by disagreeing with every other shampoo she chose....HAHAHAHA*evil laugh*........i mean GAWD.......i rejected buying from body shop,guardian,loreal..........

at long last......i bought sumthing from supa save.......i bought CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES!!......lain tah plg bah~~~

haha...

yesh...........my dream boy...ehe...not boy....i mean GUY lah.......gosh.....i could just stare at him for like hours and even days........*drools*

alone~~

aku telah d tinggalkan keseorangan d rumah...hahahaha......im bored to death too again....

YESH!!!!!im going to KL on 28th.........yeah yeah...SHOPPING~~!!!!
the last time i went to KL....i got "sick"...it was sooooo devastating!!!!imagine being like that in KL...its a shopping heaven and all i did was sleep at home.....GAWD~~~.........

tomorrow test........and ask me wheteher i did my revision or not....and d answer is of course NOT!!!inda apa...esok GP jua ngannya.........
physics.....its a definite FAIL....hahhahahaah............

nway,two more episodes to SPRING WALTZZZ........its entering the borenk episodes....where drg cikit2 nangis...cikit cikit nangis....it gets annoying after awhile.....but there's at least sumthing good....DANIEL HENNEY...nada kah guys like him.........its a first time a guy wears specs without luking geeky...actually he looks SMOKIN'LY HOT-tah.........

im hungry.............no lunch..........no people at home.....hahahahahah............

......

its a saturday......hahahah.....like people dunnoe.....
i lead a boring life....hahahaha.......u knoe why?????its a SATURDAY!! im not supposed to just hang out at home doing nothing....n yet here i am in front of the laptop....writing a blog...hahahha.....

nway,just yesterday i watched this movie called..."notes on a scandal" *if imm not mistaken* and its a good story,i think......actually its just interesting....my fave movie of all time is V for VANDETTA...its a kewl story..........nway,back to the notes movie........i was like thinking what my future wud bring me....i mean....im a afraid i cud end up being like that lady in that movie........old and wrinkly...living only with her cat and all day minding other people's business....plus she alwes writes in her diary...........i mean....i imagined myself being her....only i write a blog....not a diary...haahahahhahaha....

i haven't thought of my old days....when im old dat is........
first,i plan to b single and no married life for me.....
second,i reject every guy that cum in my way.....
third,i plan to live with cats......

gawd........what a life....hahahahahahah

but in my make believe life....when im older......like ten yrs from now......i wud b sumone successful...with a big house decorated by me....everything in shades of pink and yellow.......hahahaha.........with my cats of corz.............i travel twice a year........i have a MASSIVE wardrobe....!!!!!!i have thousands of shoes....hahahahahahahah...............atu bru ya....!!!!hahahahahaha....

buhbye for now!!!!