SOOOOO....i still cannot feel the raya vibe this year....i mean i could feel it last year and celebrate it with a lil bit of joy eventhough i did not go back Kuching...
this year...this particular year....heemmm.....why issit so???when i think back this past few days.....more like yesterday...everythng felt normal.....like it is still Ramadhan....there is a lack of excitement and happiness....
is it because i was driven by my own grandmother to work like a slave.....i mean i was asked to clean this and tidy that up, 2 days before raya....when i said i was exhausted she just said nothing......cruelty....owhkay not really cruelty and slavery since im being paid...hahahah....but still...i was alone doing all those things......once i had to carry 16 kilos of chicken and 6 kilos og beef in one go...and carry it around in this small basket...when we reached the car i literally could not feel my hands....
and when i complained to my aunt....u knoe what she sed???she bloody said its good for the arms...exercise..gawd daym it...if she was asked to carry that kind of load she would not have sed that it was exercise....my aunt was left sleeping soundly and nicely while i was tortured!and she did not show any compassion...nobody even asked if i was tired.....my arms....pity them....
and dat was not all...i ha to carry a large TV up to the 2nd floor...and carry boxes containing drinks.....i think my arms grew an inch!!
my back hurt and my legs are swollen and i could not think!....just because i have a big body...owhkay owhkay...FAT then does not mean i can work like 20 men!!doesn't mean i have the energy of 20 men!!
thank gawd i was there for 5 days...if it was more i would have died and died again...
i was exhausted to tears...tears!!!and nobody cared...owhkay of corz nobody knew since i was bawling my eyes out in the toilet....plus putting the water on!!hehehehe...
now in Brunei when i did not want to do something also tins are thrown at me.....shheessshhh!!!
the last time in Kuching i had my gurl cousin to help me....a friend to suffer together....but this year my sis was not there and mycousin was not there.....all alone....with a burden to bear alone.....waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!all is over now ayu...relax....i should have more gurl cousins....only 3 gurls in the family!!all dumb lazy and noe nothing boys...
i am hypocritical about being a feminist since my own "kampung home" is very genderlism-thing...all the house work us women do.......the guys all sit and wait for the food to be readied...gawd....even us gurls have to set the table....wash the dishes and even put the dishes in the sink...
i guess that is why i am soooooo leaning myself towards becoming a feminist....and not wanting to bear children esp boys into a world where they may conquer but does no work to be worthy of it....
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