am i single??

"r u single??".....that is the magic of chatting,if u can even call that magic...
funny how a conversation could even start from those 3 words.....i was taken aback for a milisecond....then,i thought,"DUH~~!!"...anyone can ask me that through chatting...imagine asking that question face to face.....gawd...i can't even look at the face of the person that i like.....looking from afar is all i can do....
no wonder i don't believe in "chat love"....is that even love???wat is LOVE anyway in terms of this online thingies........
i have very close people who believes in this kind of love and gawd daym it...they even are proud of it.....
imagine "loving" someone who u have not met and have not seen before....if u r lucking,maybe that person is the guy who is schooling at the same school and you know how he looks like at the very least...
people use "chatting" as a reason for them being this shy person who cannot even talk or approach the opposite sex......however, i agree 100% to this if u noe the person 101%....hehehe...
i tried this method using "mirc and stuff" and tried at least to find a decent conversation and funny enough the first question ask at least once is "r u single?"...owhkay,maybe the reason i tried themethod was to try to find one "friend"...but i just cannot take it seriously not even 1% serious...and i can't imagine a person being serious about this kind of thing at least 50% serious....
DON'T U THINK ITS STRANGE???im an open minded person, but i just cant "like" someone without knowing how he looks like....
once a friend of mine asked me that wuestio,whether i would like a person by his character and personality and watever but doesn't know how he looks like....i had to think about that question since i would not want to hurt her feelings or anything since it seems that she likes someone that way.....so all i said was,"it depends"....
it depends on wat,i did not specify...i did not want to.....
honestly, i like a person by his looks.....at least he must look like a human being....and i must say,a bit good-looking, but that is just me....that is why this chat love is not one of my favourite things in my list....but i would like to try one more time if i have the chance and the time.....really......
LIKE IN A MILLION YEARS!!!!hahahahahahah........and i heard that there is this cute person who i happen to like a little (a lie...like A LOT LIKE him ada lah...hahahaha)..and people told me that he has a lot of gf...but through this kind of "method" i mean...come on!!!tons of girls would jump in front of him and be with him if he just say the word...but naaaawwwww...he chose the chatting way!!!!aaaarrrgghhhh!!!!well,at least one girl would jump in front of him, that is lil miss ME!!hahahahahha.....seriouslyyyy~~........i just had to say dat....
wat a STUPID BOY....me flesh and blood and in front of his face and AVAILABLE.....hahahaha....ayu,ayu,how MORE desperate can u be???a bit more will be owhkay right???hahahahaha....

today was a fun day......the school festival had played a part in making it fun just now.....
the highlight of the festival was when the principal started to sing...hahahha...of course not....
to tell you the truth, the thing that made me jump out of my sit literally was when c Kucing was playing the drums.....gaaaaawwdddd....talk about major hawt stuff!!
i can't belive my eyes when he sat on the drummer's chair with his cute face and even cuter hair...i had to scream my heart out owhkaayyy....dun blame me for acting ridiculous that time, i just had to...hahahaha..
i was clapping like crazy.....and i noe if i was sane that time, it would be major embarassing much!!
i can't stop smiling and shaking when i thought of that thought/memory....
another highlight was the christmas song...it was soooo sweet and sooooo nice!!!i just had to sing along....
then after the festival we had lunch in KB town with minah.....ya lanja....soooo apatah lagee...hahhahaha...actually we forced him to treat us...aren't we cruel...and him being the so-called "man" that he is,treated us...but us being our considerate selves, ate at a cheap place....nice huh....hahahhahaha
then the girls had our nails done.....French Manicure yoooooo......i love manicures,don't you????hehehehe....but the french mani was really troublesome while waiting for it to dry which took FOREVER!!!of course,i had to have at least one of my nails redone...haahhaha....active waaahhh....pegang sana sini,ambila ni,baca atu,jalan sini sana....hahahahhaha.........AYU kale aahhh,....wawawawa....

i will have sweet dreams tonight, with my very own drummer!!GAAAWWDDD!!!
i just had to put that down,if not i will explode.....
sooooreeee for being a pain and talking bout him again and again...he is HAWWTT!!!!looorrvvveeee iiitttt!!!i have to start saying hi to him...YEAH RYT~~!!!hahahahhahaha.........imagine imagine je bahh....

interesting~~

i can't believe how fast news can travel in SMSA......its mind blowing...in like 3 hours, d whole lower6 community knows everything...hmmmmm....interesting.....
and i am in a way proud to be the first people to know and spread...hahahahaha....
when there is gossip or story...there i will be...

but the story was soooo juicy and sooooo disgusting i have to kill myself....*apakan*..i DO NOT need to see what i saw yesterday....
i know i am guilty of being hypocritical and a back stabber.....but come on!i dunnot want to see free porn OWHKAY!!!
i can get that from the internet and it is more interesting.....i think....hahah
they were very disrespectful...like we were someone with no dignity, but i think it is them who have lost theirs...
they have changed my views about them and that guy i have to say treats women like things and worthless!!i feel like kicking him in his face and shoot him with a bazooka...AAARRGGGHHH!!

drama drama drama...

the guy has a gf and that stupid gf doesn't know a thing and when i went out of physics class i saw her....laughing and smiling.....and i want to kick her to for making the female look very stupid and cheap and does not know anything!!they are in the same school FOR GAWD'S SAKE!!!
i have to talk to her......dump him in front of everyone....make him suffer....make him feel shame....make him look stupid.....
or even better, ask her to find a new one while he is with the "mistress"....hahahaha.....( i am trying to create more drama for the school)...
i cannot believe i had to encounter the things i did yesterday, today and maybe tomorrow....

and for the record, i dun feel guilty at all and i dun regret doing wat i did, eventhough it may cost me my friendship.....

my result...

OMG...i cannot believe that i actually forgot to mention about my result!i guess i am happy enough that i managed to scrape 2 passes and get myself promoted...hahahaha...
weelll,i will tell them from good to bad...

MATHS - 58
G.P. - 54
PHYSICS - 35++
HISTORY - 32

notice that my worst is history...i mean, i love history and its the best subject between all the 4 above...it involves tons of writing and memorising,which i soooooo love....but nooooo...i had to fail me....HAH!!
anyway,it is not a bad thing since the highest is only 33% and that makes me the 2nd highest!YAY me....!
but i really think that i deserve a better mark than that....i think i did well...hahahhaha....i mean, the teacher did not even mark,as in a tick or something and give us comments.....he just simply put 6/25 or 10/25 at the end of each essay...
it's a disappointment that he did not write anything...i guess i'll try a lot better in the next test to wipe off the satisfied look of "his" face when he said "none of you passed!"....i'll show him.......shesh!!

oopppzzz...better get to bed early...i need all the energy that i can get for tommorow....i have to have lots and lots of energy for the trip...and make me extra hyper than usual....can't wait...hehehehe.....i'll write about it next time...i need to brush my teeth! beef are stuck everywhere between my teeth and it is annoying to me!aaaaaahhhhh..........buhbye...

it's been a week,and next time it will be more than that i think.
for the whole of December,i will be extra extra busy. hmmmm...let me give you an idea of how busy i will be...
2-6 dec = Kuching
7-9 dec = camping
12-20 dec = Vietnam
24dec-1 jan = KL
i could barely have time to breath....i lurve exaggerations....hahahaha
i cannot have time to be bored!owh my gawd!!

sooo....this past few days and after the exam stressing, i decided to spend my time boringly....and OMG,i am a freak!i have to plan to be bored...hahahaha...
i started to play boggle supreme on the laptop everytime i finish my lunch.
and den i watch reruns and old-old series...i do not know how my eyes keep up with me....if one day i grow blind or blur,i will know the reason...hahaha....

ooowwwhhh...i went to OGDC today....met up with old friends...."old friends" *huh!* makes me feel old...hahaha...we caught up with our lives and i still felt like we were still our form5-selves....
but,there's no change in a ny of them....i will not mention names*haha*,most of them were their "boring" selves...don get me wrong,i like them boring and quiet and shud i say still shy,it's a different feeling then when i am with the SAS group....who are exactly the opposite,let me tell you...
i met up with celez oso coz it was like the only chance we got to meet before she leaves for Kuching again...it was fuuuuuunnnnn....then she left me all alone to meet with her bf...huhuhuhuhu.....owwwhh weeeellll......

hmmmmm....

i feel happy today....really...eventhough physics test was just now...i think i did ok....ok as in not getting 10 over 100...i hope not....i guess sumthing good will happen since i feel extraordinarily happy today...yeahhh...i have a feeling sumthing good will happen...sooner or later...sooner's better but im okay with later too...ehheee....
i feel like shopping....a kind of stress release for me...that is why i begged my mum to bring me to bandar tomorrow....eventhough i have to wake up extra early,send my sis work......i dun really mind,as long as i don need to ride on the landcruiser....aaaaaarrrghhhh....
i have driving tomorrow....i like driving.....makes me feel grown-up....but im kinda worried coz my driving is CRAZEEEEEE.....especially the roundabouts....scares me,but fun.....gets the adrenalin pumping....cheap thrill.....no wonder people drive soooo fast....lurvin it....ehe...
wat time is it anyway????
yon's bday is cuming soon....im countiing the days...3 more days....i was thinking of bringing her mani and pedi...a treat...nice eyhh....i like giving people wat i rely lurve...noe wat i mean??...but i dunnoe how that will happen....wait til i have my license legally i guess...and dat is not a long way to goooo...*excited nyyeeee saya...*
but azrina i think wants to make a surprise sumthing2 coz she asked me about it and yet she hasn't replied my message...i sent her tons!owhhkkaaayy,exaggerating again...it was only that one time..waaawawawa.....

thought for the day..

owwwhhkkaaayyy..i know im supposed to study for physics tomorrow.....weellll,i have 3 more hours before my bed time...*puppy eyes*...hehehe....and its PHYSICS!!there is no chance,NIL, for even gaining a pass grade....
well, in a way i am discouraged after the disastrous Maths exam yesterday....now i am feeling a little sick andi am seriously skipping dinner, and that is a big deal for me....HEL-LO!me skipping meal is a sign that i am not well....hahaha....food and me are like a drug addict and his drugs.....i must be crazy not eating...*siiiiggghhhh*....forgive me for being extra exaggerating here....just me being me....haha...

today we went to bandar, and we were extra early...exxxtttraaaa early for me, mind you....shops were still closed!and i hate looking at closed shops....they should open just for me....it felt like candy snatched from a kid...i don't do so-called "WINDOW SHOPPING"....i shop!!and closed shops meant i cannot shop and that adds to my frustration...Aina called me a spoilt brat..and i kinda like how it sounds....like peanut butter and jam....i need new things....shoes and stuff...i am being melodramatic here...hahaha....
i told my mum that "before i die i must build a walk-in closet for myself"...me talking with hopeful eyes...thinking waaaayyy deeper than i could have.....and that remids me of what i should actually talk about today...*sorry*...
back to the bandar thingie which i was supposed to write about 10 minutes ago...*gaaawddd its hard to write with long nails,mind you...but wat can i do....suffer for beauty...*
oowwwhhhkkaaayy....where was i???owwwhh yeahhh....we went to this education fair at the mall,first floor,today was the 1st day...*ayu buat promotion leeerrr*..hahaha...annnyyywaaaayy,when we were browsing around, my dad met with his friend and it was none other than the editor of Brunei Times....my dad told him we were looking out for unis for me and he said that i was interested in journalism....and i was surprised that he actually remembered me....(from the school trip visiting the Brunei Times last two months) and he even remebered me talking about my interest in that course,journalism.....i was happy, should i say,no,more than happy...and he praised me and said that i have the right criteria for being one...and i was really pleased...hehehe...he complimeneted the way i talked and stuff,just right for that job....hhahahahahaah.......that totally made me stop worrying about my maths...hahahaha.....
*still pleased with own self*
*sitting here smiling at myself..."goodjob ayu"...wahahahahaha*
*still smiling...*
owwhkaaayy, enough already.....
then we met with this marketing manager from uniKL, he recommended me engineering courses which i sooo despise, except aircraft E that is....she rambled on and on and on about the courses and even recommendind the course to my sister...shheessshh...it was funny,yet annoying that my mum pulled her "don noe anything* face....come on!!huhuhuhu.....it was funny and the usual behaviour of my family.....then she commented about aircratf E being a messy job but makes your pocket very full....ooooohhhhhhh...that caught my attention...imagine the number of shoes i can buy with that kind of money...my walk-in closet will not only be a fantasy.....wwwwooooowwww.......the idea just adds length to my smile...yummyy.....
im still confused about my future and now i think i still need both my parents to hold my hand and guide me to the so-called right direction.....

yeessshhh..im an immature spoilt brat...

my eyes hurt, my back hurts, my neck hurts and including every single part of my body....eventhough i am daym sleeping from lacking of it-studying-i of course cannot even close my eyes.....the thought of opening and closing them makes my head ache....aarrrggghhhh....

today was not a good day for me....frist, just by waking up early can make me extra cranky...and i was...!i had to start memorising wat i wrote and do a lot of sitting...when i went to school the sitting continued,let me tell you...for 3 hours!just writing essays!aaaaaahhh....it was mind blowing if you ask me....i thought i would not have finish all of them in 3 hours, but the job of writing and scribbling melodramatic situations kept me sane and going....
that was not all...i was hungry...daym hungry.....hahahah....had to wait til 11 to have a square meal...and i had high expectations on wat was going to be served,and i was utterly disappointed..waaaaaaaa....makan soto saja!!!!!hahahaha...

then the torture continued...*im sorry kidah but i like to think that me not managing to finish my exam was completely your fault,that way keeps me, well, alive..hahaaaha*....jee kept on telling me that she got 87 for her ppr1,which was incredible,but she rubbed it in on me.....it was annoying much,cause i did not know wat i got and i know i did not do well in it.....i have to say my overconfidence in doing pretty well in maths had kept me from opening my maths file earlier than should be....and because of that, the confidence in me made me INSANE!!!i was like working extra slow and my mind was literally blocked!i had nothing in my mind except for veitnam war and the cold war...it was frustrating.....
kidah told me that the exam would finish at 3.15 and i thought i had 15 more min to check my answers and start "dilling" the ones that i left out purposely...and at 3, when the invigilator said "stop writing!", iu literally stopped and my mouth was left open..i was SHOCKED in big cap letters...i did not know wat to say for once in my life!i had blanks all over the place...it was horrific!!maths was the only chance for me to pass and a pass was needed to be promoted to be "seniors"!ddddiiieeee loooorrr....im still overly worried and i know its a useless cause, but im still worried.....lucky for jee, if she did say another word of her getting high marks i would have stranggale er to death...hahahaha...i was that stressed out...
the minute i got home i wanted to cry of exhaustion...we were going to miri and i was only given 10 minutes to get ready....HEL-LO!!10 min for a girl my age is like a sec regarding "getting readying"....soooo i looked like a bum with my wet hair and uncoordinated clothes!i have to stop worrying about my exam!and shopping was the only cure of my sadness...hahahaha.....that was the only highlight of the day...yeah ryyyyttt....

2mro continue....

middle child crisis

these past few days were..hhmmm...wat shud i say??..very confusing...
my waterworks are like soooo active that every single time something sensitive was said i would cry and cry and cry....and dey are not sensitive let me tell you...
no wonder i like school soooooo much!it is where i feel like me...more me being me...hahaha......*don mind me..*

i met with chriz just now....watching movie and eating and walking round....catching up with things....gaawwddd i miss talking to her...i miss taking to a lot of them....huhuhuh...i can't believe im going to say dis......I MISS SAS!!!!
it was a lot of fun back den....fun now....but fun-ner den...hahahaha...less stressful......
now is the end of year exam..i guess im too confident of myself...i was soooo sure i am going to pass my maths,but now i dun feel like i will...it was sooo daym hard....
and about my physics...i was so sure too that i learned a lot...a lot than before!gaaawwwdddd!!i have never read dat much for any sci subs....now my history sucks like hell!!curses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!all i do now is watch series....anime....tv shows...korean drama.....NOTHING related to history,GP,MAths or Physics!i am becoming crazee....crazi-er, to be more specific!it is mind blowing!!
all i wanna do is write write write...that takes a lot of my mind away from anything form six-y...hahahahahah..huhuhuhu....hehehehehehe....