we were talking about the future "things" again...."we" as in my sis, mum and I of course....and because of that i cried my eyes out again...why???because they always look down on me.....
every single thing that i do is always wrong....just by opening my mouth, to them i have said the wrong thing....sitting down next to them, they look like i am something that is about to change into a bug....welll....wat can i say or do??that is what happen when your elder sister have come back....
just thinking about them makes me wanna cry....again....just listening to them talk with each other wanna make me puke!yes.....u may think that i am in the stage where my hormones are imbalanced and me being a rebellious teenager....weelll, i am very pleased if u want to be in my shoes.......be my guest..
owhkay...owhkay...let's start from the beginning....
we went back from our dinner-eating out-then they were planning to have a trip to wietnam....just them...since i have school.....well, do they have to make it during school time....can't they just a few days til i finish school...but watever....they never do it when my sis is busy or away.....always wanna wait for her...well, im owhkay with that really...i am used to it.....then my mum even sanggup to wait for my sis's bf to have his hols to bring him with them....HIM!!!!but not me....nooooo~....
suddenly we came to "my future" topic....i don rely remember how we even got there...*my eyes are soo watery i can't even look at the screen..*
my sister can do everything....she is SOOOO good in driving, i am not, so i can't be a pilot....my reflexes aren't good and i am too loud....i can't be a teacher coz my sis sed soo, since everyone would be afraid of me....i can't be an engineer since i can never sit still andcan't keep quiet....i can't even do anything medical since i am terrified of needles.....my own sister said from her own mouth that she won't recommend me.....why is she afraid that i will do better than her???come on!!i won't steal her glory...i'll stand back and be "aina's little sister" i dun mind....but still NO!!audi can do everything coz he is a BOY!!talk about discrimination and inequality......waddahell!!
a writer??a journalist???that is wat i call a far-fetched dream....wheni wanna be realistic i am called IMMATURE!!childish....
"change the way u laugh", my mum always sed.....laughing has absolutely nothing to do with a job!!.....my aunt laughs like a donkey,loud and ugly but her doing that is ok coz she is a hotel director....i could not be one because im loud....tell me whether i shud be confused or not!!
it's hard to be me.....when i wanna do sumthing good, my mum wud say, she will never do that....she can't even do that...she is not qualified to do that....
all i am good in is english and god knows my writing and language is not even excellent...."cukup cukup makan".....HUH!!!!!!!!
writing....nothing good can come out of it.....a mother who does not even supprt her own child....well, she does support my sis and bro though....a black sheep...