rain rain on my rooftop...

i still can;t find my ST1 maths textbook.....MY GAWD...where the hell did i put it??!! it is soooooooo depressing...*sob sob*
plus it is raining right now and for awhile there i thought there was going to be ablackout coz my lights went off for a split second...

MANA KAN DAT STUPID ST1????

i've checked every freaking place.....under my bed, under my table, in the cupboard.........search search searchiiiiinnnnngggggg.......
nvm.......i'll just be me and copy from someone tomorrow....

aarrrghhhhh...adding to my so-called depression, i have not shop for the last 4 days....*yesh,yesh i count days when i am shopping-less.........but after reading celez's blog and reading her shopping sprees i felt like crying....like for a minute there i was gonna breakdown coz only in my dreams can i have a shopping mall in front of the school.............i would,like, KILL to have a place like that....lucky u celez......still hating you...hahaha......

keep your mind on searching for that daym book ayu!

concentrate...

AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!mana kan ya??????????????????????????????!!!

breath breath......

SHITTO!!d history presentation!!astaga......

book ayu,book.........yeaaahh yeaaahhh....

*be back after finding the book*

BOOOWWWHHH!!

we had a history test today, but azrina n me, we were boycotting the test......to tell you the truth i dunnoe why we were boycotting....but doing something bad is what i always look for....hahahaha......
we boycotted by not writing anything on our papers except ONE line. it was the longest 45 minutes of my life!! i was sitting there, doing nothing *of course*, except smiling here and there....my hand was twitching to write something more, cause i KNOW the answer....it was just too obvious...i read my history notes kan sudah yesterday.....but because of the boycott, i just had to....call me stoopid...CHEAP THRILL....it was....and also i promosed azrina....if not she wanted to, => "ku koyak kan papers mu karang!ku trajang ko!"...those were her words....hahahhaa......
but the funny thing was, the history teacher suruh wah buat a so-called make-up test......such a softie......owhhkayy i have to admit i was guilty.....A BIT!but it was fun......i just had to do it.....welll,it was better than cheating kan kan....issit?????

*yawn yawn*

i am dayymm ngantok....i've yawned likea couple million times....but i have to, i just have to keep myself awake....HW punya pasal lah....hate it!!and i had a late music class....i was like playing drowsily....like HEL-LO, pukul 8 til 9 sumthing the class and i need to sleep early to be "fresh"...majal wa tcher music ah.......

plus lage interenet connection lambat...i was like, WTF!!!!i was waiting like hell....*if there's such thing*....and i have a history test tomorrow....like, DIE loooorrr.......

GAWD...ayu,you are embarassing.....i was struggling to open powerpoint which Afi sent to me...i was like,click here, click there......thank goodness it was not gone...lau inda....afi would kill me...heheheh...

OWH YEAAAHHH.....thank you kid for the lovely lovely skin.........LOVE it!!!!!welllll....anything is better if i'm not the one changing it.......hehehehe.....

shoes shoes shoes

aren't these just plain CUTE??????i love them to the max...i have to get them!!!i just have to....but i dun noe where the hell i can get them......lawa kaaaaaaaann!!!!
if only i can get my hands on them i would trade it with my other shoes....seriously serious!!!!hehehehe.....



and this....it took my breath away!!!aaarrrghhhhh.....i wish i could shop on eBay....and i would buy tons and tons of shoes and on the top of the list would be these lovelies!!!yeaaaahhhh.....



the HOTTEST shoes EVER!!!
i have the strong urge to go shoe shopping afetr looking at these beauties!!i am sooooo going to die!!i need the $$ plang.......nvm.....tunggu chinese new yr sale......i am going to shop til i drop!!...well...til my wallet KOSONG lahh...hahaha

my fave shoe shops are..

CHARLES AND KEITH....
for their hawt hawt hawt high heels....and i love that they have branches at every stores that i like to go...and thank you for opening one in Kuching!!!aarrrghhhh....i can't wait to balek kuching.....C and K...here i come!!!

MOMOE (KL)
for their funky kawaii-style heels......
however, i can only visit them when i go to Kl....which is like twice a year saja.....and i totally forgot whether they are japanese or korean...which ever,as long as they are C.U.T.E.!!

BATA
for their comfort and affordable shoes.....i am aiming for this hawt black strap heels which cost like 59.90...soooo over my budget, but i'll try to beg from my dad...and i only have 40% of successful begging....hehehehe....nvm....never give up!!!

oooowwhh myy gaawwdd.....
i sooo need to change my background or watever u call the skin of my blog....it is soooooooooooo OLD!!!!!!it is nice, but it IS old kan kan kan.......

i need help KIDAH if u r reading this...hehehe.....i need you....hahahaha......i knoe ko nada perasaan nie.....hahahahaha...but come on...inda kan kawan mu yg hopeless anie inda ko mau tolong...hehehehe.....*begging on my knees*...i dun even noe how to create power points thingie......pathetic!!!i am not computer savvy or a tech junkie....i want to become one...and i tried my best, but i guess i am not cut out doing it.....paloiii....that is wat i am....*sob sob*

aneeeewwhooo.....i failed my physics again...SURPRISE SURPRISE!!!not at all.......gila kale....and my maths hw lage alum ku abis kan....like WTF!!!!wat am i doing??????wat is going on with me????i was never this disorganise!!

I NEED SLEEP I THINK.....

YEAHH.....THAT IS A GOOD THING.....
*yawn yawn*

AAAHHHHHH.....a igh of relief.......i AM sooooooo relieved!!!!my presentation is over.......it is DAYM over!!!!!eventho it was waaaaay crappy and waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy embarassing,but we made it...i am prud of me and my group...weelll,for even finishing it just now. i thought it was gonna be worse....HUUUUUHHH.....caliieee lah tadi...like muka kame blur TO THE MAX!!!but it was okay.....it was okkayyy.....
if anything was crappy, it was because of that GIRL!!!!gawddd....i still want to KILL her!!!OMG!!!!!OMG!!!!yeeesss...i was plastic tadi Nabil, dpan iya i was like smile here and there, u dun need to "say" it tadi...hahahaha......GILA KALE!!!naaaahhhh......
and i love my friends....always there to listen to my naggings and complains...sal time after i went offline aku trus call c sharon and was "bitching2 like hell".....and i BURST TO TEARS sal na tahan.....OMG......the, after calling sharon, called zatie lage......and then cried like hell lage...macam i was thinking, where did all those tears come from....hahaha....mana inda i felt sooooo dehydrated.....gawd that SLUT!!! (i dun like calling people bitch, they never deserve that title).....and she acted all innocent....kkan ku sepak muka nya....ISSSSHHHHH!!!!!

i am not too mad now coz i am full.....YUMMY tadi makan arah "aji amat" watever my dad calls that place....i luuurrvvveeee his ikan bakar!!d best!!!!i was like eating a whole fish w/out anything else.....

i am listening to Britney Spears song....and gawd i dun noe whyi love d song..."piece of me"...it is soooo dance-y and i love her vidclip....i feel like dancing every single time i watch it....you know, strutting my ass around2...hahahaha......(dun tell azrina i like the song, coz i always say i hate Britney to the max...hahahahah...labs u gurl!! *eksen*..)

breathe....breathe....

aaarrrghhh!!!i am soooooo stressed out rite now!!!rasa kan makan org dah ku nie......nie nah pasal pompuan sekong atu ahhh!!!!!SHITTO to the max!!!huhuhuu.....i am waaaaaaaaayyy waaaayyy waaaaaaayyy cranky!!!!!it is past my bedtime kale ah!!!!
i have been sitting in this chair since 4.30 and it is now 8.45......i wanna cry....my butt hurtssssssss....huhuhuhu...........
i dun like this feeling....i have never felt this cranky before!!huhuhu..*lying*...

thank gawd ada kan d chat ngan...lau inda, i would have gone INSANE!!!thankz shar for calling and talking with me and affy for "listening" to my bitchiness....hahaha...

I HAVE NOT SEEN THE PIC...BUT SINCE IT IS A CAT....ITS IS CUTE WITH ITS FUR ALL MESSY......

this is the bear my sister bought me when she was in UK. isn't it cute???? i just lurve teddies to the max!!!! bears are like my second best animals in the world, which is after cats.
i am going to call it Paddy. guess where i got that from. "PADDIngton bear",i fu couldn't guess.....hehe....i like names with "y" at the end...for bears that is...it shows teddy bear-ish characters...which is just plain cute and huggable!!
it sooooooo going to sleep beside me tonight. *sigh* it looks sooooo london-ish doesn't it......hahahaha...DUH~~!!!*smack self on head*....

my mum will be home for another hour......aaaaaaahhhhh..........an hour of freedom...if you even can call that being free....*apakan*....soooo,i was alone at home today..the whole morning, so, i watched my favourite movie again...for like the 100000 million millionth time....V for Vendetta...GAWD i just LURVE that movie...touching, yet sweet and very interesting. this movie is one of my most watched movies, tapi maseh inda dpt lawan HARRY POTTER....all 5!!seriously serious....i practically noe every single dialogue...which annoys Aainaa to the max!!hahahaha......which is an added plus,dats why i lurve doing it everytime she watches with me....hahaha....sowee sis....it is just natural to annoy sisters...still labs u tho...hehehe....*kan ngambil ati,gaji bila kluar???hahaha*

p.s.wanted to post pics tapi lagging bah internet nie...watever u call it....next time je ye.......it is past my bedtime.....hehehe

i don't like my font....its hard to read my writing.....paloi kale....and d thing is,i don't freakin noe how to change them...i suck in the computer department, all i knoe is how to copy and paste, and that i still have trouble with....GILA KALE!!!!heeeelllllppp........

aneeeeewaaayyy....I'm starting to like my GP group. i hate to admit it, but they are waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy funny and lotsa fun. but GP in general is N.O.T. fun!! just my group dat is.
but i can't believe Affy or Qamarul watever he is called, said i was ORANGE!!hahahaha.....it still makes me laugh every single time i think about it. calling me ORANGE!!astagaaaaaaa.......i mean, he said my skin colour looks orange..which is weird right. issnt it????please say it is!!hahaha....
Affy.....Sharon said that name makes him gay. hahahaha...cian yaaaa.....but after saying his name a few hundred times, it does sound gay-ish...a bit.....like A LOT!!!hahahahaha.......*soreee ye~~*...sharon's right..it sounds waaayy gay....I'm just getting back at him for calling me ORANGE!!hahahahaha........

i am not ORANGE
i am not ORANGE
i am not ORANGE
i am not ORANGE
i am not ORANGE
i am not ORANGE
i am not ORANGE

hahahahha.......trying to convince myself.....my skin is not orange-ie.......gila gila.......my mom calls me the yellow one in the family, but never orange......
asta.......paranoid apa ayu ahhh.....sabar sabar......SOTNESS!!!!

this is one of the reasons why I look forward to PS time and going to the canteen.
doesn't it look YUMMY????hehehehe...
and the excitement of knowing that lemon was available....ooowwwhhh.....pure heaven!!
nyaman kale aaaaahh~~.........which is why PS time is my favourite subject...which also includes gossiping and checking2 out on GBS!!!
*GBS is a so-called secret code zatie and I use for my u knoe who's group...hehehe*

my fren,shaeyna and i were chatting happily tadi and was reminiscing about good old times.
laughing bout our sot-sotness when I was young...young-er that is....i'm not old!!hahaha...though i think of myslef as old, but not mature, just plain old...hahaha...
i started to like playing boggle on the laptop and that makes me feel like an old lady.....living with her cats!!.....hhmmmmmmm...that doesn;t sound like a bad idea...d cats part that is.......

annyyyyway,shaeyna's nick was cute which is "i dream of me and my boyfiee makin lots of tattoo and doin piercin together and rock our head off!"
sooooo...coz of that i want to make a list of things that i WISH i could do with my "boyfiee"...when i get one boyfiee that is..*pathetic!*..hahahah...and eventhough most of them are too far-fetced,it is harmless to dream ryt...

1. picinic at the beach, at night.
2. read a loud to each other at the park, sitting on blankets
3. watching the stars......
4. watching a tv series marathon till early morning...non-stop..
5. baking together and getting our hands "duurrty"...eventho i suck in the baking department..
6. hmmm...a tattoo sounds nice, but i hate needles, so if he does it on him just for me, i dun mind...heheh
7. SHOPPING!!!where he buys my things and i buy his...how cool is that???
8. playing in the rain.......dancing and singing in the rain.
9. a trip to the zoo or animal shelter,and gives me a kitten as a gift.awwwwww...
10. the big TEN...just talking to him over a nice dinner...nice dinner includes,a fancy restaurant, fancy food and fancy everyting....

okay, the last one may make me look very "eyes on $$" thingie, but who issnt!compared to the rest, come on, i'll make a low maintenance GF...i think..."watching the stars, come on, u dun need to pay to watch stars.....hahaha...

bah eyhhh.....ngantok ler........syiok sendiri ayu tok kelak...iboh d layan nya gilak.....hahahahahahah

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
don't mistake that as a frustrated scream or whatever...it was a loooooonnggg relieved sigh......
just to post those few letters i had to sign for like 10000 of times....sob sob....sabar ayu.....
today was not a productive day....i had not "collected" enough gossips to fill my so-called "gossip bag"...seriously serious.....
imagine what an hour can do.....that is during PS time.....but today,no PS, that is why i guess...

today i felt useless and actually i cared about what my physics teacher said in class. he said about some people not suitable to take physics or whatever and i felt like i was that person who should not have touched pysics at all. and i felt like did not deserve to sit in his class. it made me WAAAAAYYYYYYY frustrated coz everywhere i turn i see them being their clever self, and here i was sitting stupidly in my chair.
GAAAWWDD!!i've become a self-absorbed bitch who is never happy.........help meeee!!!
and i was thinking why i was even in that class......i should have quit a loooonnngg time ago and it was my own mistake...coz before i thought i could do it...i'll manage. but after haering all the talk bout results here and there and EVERYWHERE...i had to start to be serious. but i just don't understand physics!!!!
malas lah kan pikir kan bout dat....huhu

No parents home today....4 days, to be exact......something came up that made my parents rushing to Kuching today....it was supposed to be later on...
sooooooo....no parents...hhhmmmmmm.....LET'S PARTY!!!!!!

2 days of holiday.........wat shud i do?????
well, i am predicting that my 2 days will consist of me lying down comfortably,cozy with my blanket and watching TV series the whole day.......WHAT A LIFE!!!*being only half sarcastic..*

my mum's going to be away, and my sister's going to be away next week,soooooo, i hinted to them that i wanted to use the car to school.the way i hinted, i practically had screamed to their faces, "CAN I USE THE CAR??". what in the hell is the use of my license if i could not use them???my mum told me to wait till the stupid probation has ended and that will take 1 year. my sister could use the car easily, and i am supposed to be the responsible one. how unfair!!!!
i am not asking much, am i ryt??i have the capability to drive, if not, i would have been denied a licence. weak arguments given by my mum, but she will always win, coz it is her car. and stupid lies from last year, saying that i would be given a car by now, but noooooooooo~~....wait til next year, which would be the next next year and so on and so on!

*i still cannot drive the car*.......SOB SOB!!!

why can't i drive the car???

my sister even exaggerates that i drive in a bad way, but u should have seen her driving, it is even worst!but i can't say a single thing that will "hurt" her, or she won't drive me around. but when she drives the way she does, nobody says a thing, and nobody bans her from driving. i have done nothing, and believe me, will continue to do nothing. AAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

astaga!!dapat upanya d pictures.....coz when i wanted to post them they were in words words thingie...the computer language whatnots...i was like.."WTH!!"...but then, i decided to just post them and go with the flow...and fortunately and unfortunately for me, they came out as perfect pictures...hahahaha....THANK GAWD!!i was in the verge of panicking....

anywaaaaayyyy~~~.....let's talk about those pictures.....
the first one was taken on the last day of camp....my gurlfrens, the three of them.....hehe...*sob sob*....leaving my new frens thinking, when can we see them again. mixed feelings actually...i was glad to leave the stoopid toilets!hahaha....

the second one, a christmas tree is it???watever~`...the christmas was taken 5 days before christmas and yet, Vietnam was crowded with Xmas deco....it made me feel like it was snowing cause al those white stuff pretending to be snow, EVERYWHERE!! and yet it was like 34 degrees outside....we were literally melting....
my auntie was boasting that her hotel was the only one in Viet with a real tree and i interrupted her by saying, "gosh, save the tree much...not eco friendly hotel meh??" and my aunt was like glaring at me and did not speak to me the whole lunch...hahahahha....

the raw salmon was from breakfast at my aunt's hotel Park Hyatt.....yummy...it was buffet and i ate like 3 plates of them...only that...nothing else...hahahaha....

the roses were from Vietnam Ben Thanh Market.....i love them sooo much.....beautiful right???i did not want to bring them back Brunei coz i do not like watching them slowly dying away in front of my eyes....i'll just watch them when they are so-called healthy...hehehe....and they cost like under 3 bucks!!i wanted to buy a truck load....(me exaggerating again)...hahahahah

"MYSELF".....such a simple primary schooler composition, that was what came into my mind immediately. And i said to myself exaggeratingly, i could easily write a book worth of words. and yet, this composition made me think the whole day, what do i know exactly about myself??could i even write 100 words about myslef??what should i write??what coould i even write???

i mean, im FORM 6 for gawd sakes!i can't put "my name is...i am bla bla years old.." or describe myself.....i don't even know how i look like....SERIOUSLY!!my hair colour changes everytime i look at it....dependig on the "brightness" outside and inside the house. i don't even noe what is the colour of my eyes!dark brown??brown??black??light black?? (is there such a thing as light black???????hahahahaha)i don't know whether i am tall or average or just right. whether i am fat or curvacious or chubby or whatever!!

don't get me started about my hobbies!i like everything really.....but i am never good at anything...i am not talented...i am just average...just OK!seriously serious!!swimming?basketball?football?singing?dancing?acting?archery?pool?snooker?running?badminton?talking?play music instruments?writing?shopping?(hmmm...is shopping included??it is a good thing for someone who can spot something worth buying or spot a good bargain!and even to have the interest to hunt in between shops and such! hahaha)

well....i like writing and reading..but that would not get me anywhere...not far that is!all i'l do is sit on my chair and write or lie down somewhere comfortable and read.

people do not want average or just OK people!!they want perfection!!at least talented people! i'm not being this modest or foolish person who is not grateful for what she's got. I just don't know who i really am..i am a confused girl who is trying to become this grown-up woman.

all i know is i am a moodish kind of girl. very sensitive. and very headstrong and i change a lot, my thinking and my taste. undecisive....that's ME! :)
take for instance my music taste. right now i like soul music but a few weeks ago i went for rock and the weeks before, oldies, and before that pop...and it goes on forever!
i am a lazy person....i'll do something perfectly only when i like it and when i feel like it. and i don;t know why i can't take a lot of things seriously. i know that will take me down in life. and my mum keeps on asking me to grow up already and change my attitude! i will.....when i feel like it.....
i am a spoiled brat....yesh i am....well, only when my sister is not with me..cause it is always about her first. i'm okay with that. cause i will get what i want after that. hahahahahhaha....i'll just go shopping!!and i won't be mad or jealous....*sigghhh happily..* hahahahaha.......

ooowwwhh owwwhhh...one thing for sure, i really love animals. and i will be mad and sad if one animal got hurt or being hurt by someone. i would even hurt that human being back. they'll be black listed off my list for sure! and i can remember one human who did that and everytime i look at his face i feel disgusted!

aannnyyywaaaaayyyy~~.....talking bout school....it's a refuge for me. a place where i can be whatever i want to be, without being the real me. eventhough that makes me sound like i am fake, but i like being a fake. it's is just hard being me. (told u i am confused and i am making myself confusing...) it is not about lack of love or attention, i said already that i can fill those gaps with shopping and things...really....call me materialistic all u want...i don't care.....hahaha....