i actually deleted/edited this post...

i guess i just don;t have the guts to say all the things i want to say..coz i have learned my lesson a looong time ago....flashbacks are a pain in the ass!!!

<---------> yup was that close to breaking apart....

but i guess me being that way is unreasonable and not the right time...

WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME THEN???!!!

can somebody show me a sign?????
can something just jump out of the sky and hit my head so that i know what to do next?????
can a person shout at me at the side of the road "TO GET THINGS STRAIGHT"??!!

or even better...just have a truck run me over then everyhting's dilly dally....

help me up coz i keep on falling even deeper,
hold my hand as the days go darker....

feels like dog poo, being stepped twice and looked at with utter disgust!!!
i get all the so-called "ROSES AND CHOCOLATES" from other people but not from you...
and owh yes i AM complaining!!!!

joined the EARTH HOUR yesterday night..and i slept the way through...
well,planned to be all "romantic" and stuff, pasal d candles and the dark...
but since inda kejumpaan lighter..it was JUST DARKNESS...boo hoo..
sooooo...tidor lah gaya nyaaa....
and it was sad...pasal every year earth hour with my family...
pasal my mum takes this seriouslyy,and coz of this rubbed on all her children..even my sister reminded me to switch off all electricity....
how exciting to think that a small thing can make a huge difference!!!!!

XOXOXOXO!!

lalalala

somebody or twobodies or three tagged me this rah FB and i am soo malas to do it rah FB instead im doing it here...so boo you!!heee

Say you marry the last person you texted, what's your last name?
my sister texted me..and no thank you am i gonna get married with her..heeee..
well that would make me have the same last name..(???)

When's the last time you fell asleep watching a movie?
eerrmmm..hahaha..neveer...;p;p;p;p;p;p;p

Are any of your texts in your inbox locked?
nope...bhapa juaa~

Is there one person that you'll always have feelings for?
HOHOHO....duuuhh~and he is right in front of me thank you very much...hehehe

What's the last thing you laughed really hard over?
tadi pasal his words tadi..WAKAKAKA...

When was the last time you were told you were cute?
cant remember coz banyak kalie dah org cakap catu...hoho..dtg penyakit perasan nya.*tampaar*

What was the last drink you had?
was it tea??i think soo...

Who called you first this morning?
errmm...him...p aku inda jawab...HAHAHA

Last night, did you go to sleep smiling?
yes coz of the son "foat - 3 hari tuk selamanya"

How long can you go without your phone?
hmmmmmm..hmmmmm...not long i guess...if im out of the house..but if im in the house,try to contact me thru something else..coz i would probably cntact u back the next day...HAHAHA

Were you happy when you woke up today?
well...i always wake up happy...that's what i always think tho..hehehe

If you could go back in time, how far back would you go?
errmm...last two years...so that i could change my subs in form 6 so that i would have at least a slight chance of applying for law courses...boo me...

Are you the youngest person living in your house?
YES!!!!hehehe

Have you ever quoted a line from a movie?
"so dark the con of man"..i love that quote!!

Do you like candy-corn?
don't know what that is actually...

Did you ever want to be a lawyer?
since forever!!!!but here i am on my ass training as an aircraft engineer...shows u cant always get everything u want..life goes on!!NEXT!!

If there were no letters on the keys on your keyboard could you still type?
i am not even looking at my keyboard,so the answer is YES!

Do you have a bad temper?
i have mood swings...hehe...does that count???

Do you still speak to any of your classmates from primary school?
yup yup...banyaaakkk~~SAS girls ROCKS!!..hahaha...

Do you remember the first rated-R movie you saw?
inda...banyak kalie..hehehehehe

What is one thing you spend way too much money on?
clothes....cramping my room...aduuuhh...and i want more!!

Do you believe that there's good in everybody?
i think..but im not in an optimistic mood...soo NO for now..haha

What TV show should never stop running?
One tree hill...

Who was the last person you talked to in person?
meerul



In winter, would you rather wear jackets or hoodies?
jackets...pasal even now i think its spring and hoodies are not my friend!hahaha..SAJOOOKK WAH SCOTLAND ANIE...

Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
nope..im quite happy thank youh...

Look in your inbox in your phone, who are all the people you have texts from?
mum and meerul...

What are you drinking right now?
tea freak-o

What kind of shirt are you wearing?
sleeveless,does that count...and hoodie...pasal i thought at first it was gonna be hot..kali sajok tia...

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
hahahaha..NOPE~one year too long...but i wish this time it would be longer...heeee

Would you be able to tell someone you love them, even if you didn't feel it?
hoho...fake/plastic kalie ah c ayu nie kdg2..hahaha€

What color are your eyes?
Dark Brown-ish black-ish

Do you wear your seat belt in the car?
SEMESTINYAA..

Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight?
inda payah...*apakan*

Have you ever kissed someone that smokes?
haha..unfortunatelyy yes...and not something i want to do ever again if given a choice...heee..

Is there someone in your life you don't want them in it?
someone???like BANYAAKK!!!

What's the word you always say?
BBT!!heee





laterrr~

BOOWWHH!!

owh owh!ayu's in trouble..i broke my own promise...hehehe
i said i was going to update on monday or Tuesday,but now it's already good old Wednesday...
well..kalau mao lyat pictures taken from Brunotts,sila layari facebook saya...HAHAHA...my bm is getting good eyhhh~heee...

urrghhh to those people who has the virus thingie rah their MSN...mengacau ketenteraman saya saja...ngaleh bah I kan mencancel all those nonsense pop outs!
in one day i could count more than 10 i guess...and it is getting worst!
do ur MSN a favour and get ur freaking lappy or mobile a reboot!!*watever reboot means in computer language...but in that sentence it sounded CUTE!*..tampar kalie c ayu anie eyyhh..hahahah...

layan saja my babbles for the sake of me updating....
coz i have none to update....
though FB was being such an AS*H*LE on me yesterday i managed to upload all the "necesary" pictures rah FB ku...
though i felt like kicking and screaming and hammering my lappy with something uberlyy hard...tapi aku nie sebenarnya baik..*Nins fave words for now* :):):):)

seeeee!!!
@#$%^&*&^%$#@#$%^&*&^%$#@#$%^
the MSN thing is doing it again....don;t tell me MY msn is being a $%^&*#@#$%^&^%$..buang air liur ngannya ku mengucap org tu lau catu...haiyayaya!!!
i think I AM THE ONE WHO NEEDS A SLAP OR TWO!!!*i mean,a reboot~~*

my mum hasn;t contacted me in days!!!
i need brunei updates!!at least i could feel closer to home...anie nada...i am abandoned for now...
an orphan for more than a week...hahahahaha....

bah off i go play word challenge rah lappy c meerul pasal he has the PRO thingie which is fun!!!

bon voyageee

im gonna go off to the Brunotts Easter GAmes tomorrow to support Team Perth...
so i won't be updating till Monday...but don't count on it,pasal maybe ngaleh brabislyy brabis,so updates on tuesday onwards..promise nie...
coz i am positive there's gonna be loads to update...
especially pictures....don't i love uploading pictures tho batah!boo hoo...

bah ngantok saya....
i am stuffed to the max!!
had pizza,kebab and sushi all in one night....
nyum nyum..
cana kan seksheh nie???HEHEHEHEHEHE....


i promise you my eyes will be on you the whole time....*half finger cross*
love you,you hot thaanngg....

so i have this crazy mood to start my poem writing again,in class..since Module 7 is such a bore...i actually nodded myself to sleep...automatically saying "yes,Sam!"..hahaha...
atu ya tadi,it was funny..sampat lagi tidor for 30 minutes,without getting caught,and i am proud of myself...*pat self on back*...then suddenly while sleeping i heard "u all can go home at 3..",i woke up at that right moment and said "yeaahh!"...
atu jua inda ketara banar c ayu anie...hahahahaha...owh well....
the bottom line is module 7 stinks!and tabal lagi bukunya...which stinks even more!
and here i am planning to take B1...hahahaha..ko boleh tu yuuu...

i have good news!!wehee wehee...
but im not gonna tell u all yet till its confirmed....HAHAHHAAH..
antah kenapa i am uberly uberly excited about this,coz from the beginning i planned not to,tapi after my mum asked me for the thousandth time,i actually agree!
macam i am waiting for a text from her,or even an email...but BOHOO nada pa2!!

i am seriouslyy in a seriouslyy excited mood!
B.E.G. is just around the corner...i am gonna be a fangirl...
and my so called footie player is none other than my ♥♥♥♥♥♥..pasal he has hot legs!!hahahahaha....
i solemnlyy swear not to let my eyes stray TOO MUCCH...too much... :):):):):):)

off we go watch watch matrix...weeeeeee....

he asked me a simple question..maybe not a serious one,but made me soo emotional..
antah kenapa it made me this way..maybe coz it involves one of the person who i care most,my dad...
i may have answered you the way dat u not want me to...
i said, "i don;t care if you die..."
are you freaking crazeeee???OF COURSE I CARE IF YOU DIE!!!!
but the cause that would make you die from is sooo bullshit,that god had given you a chance...an opportunity to maybe live a longer life...

aduuhh im soree if you dont understand what i am blabbing about...
but all i want to say is i did not cry just now all because of you...
partly,coz u came up with such a question....
coz u made me think of my papa..who is soo far away...who may one day not be able to walk into the house with his silliness,with his so called serious face...
and all because of this white stick..a white stick which kills...
not only him,but the people around him...dying inside...
i may be foolish thinking of this,but we all know someday,a person WILL die...
but im sooo far away....
far away....
far...
away....

and i dont know when his time will be....
im being realistic...
maybe this is not realistic to all of you,but being far from home,and family,you would think of the worst consequences....
anything can happen..
in a blink of an eye...

i miss you....

naughty samuel

meeeek meeeek meeeek!! boring boring..nasi goreeenng!

nyeeehhh...

went to watch the guys train for brunotts....it was fun....p sayangnya inda semua dtg...knapa tu ahh???ok,maybe some has reasonable reasons lah d katakan,but the rest???mana semangat kamu kan???dun u all ever sit back and think of the others yang ngaleh2 dtg dengan semangat yang membara *ahaaii*....
and yet,there u all are sitting on ur bloody fat ass doing nothing!!and dun tell me kamu has even better things to do!napa alai kaahh???$%^&*(*&^%$#@#$%^&*(*&^%$!!
kan membalas dendam kali rah drg yang inda dtg the other days,so kamu mao drg merasa apa yang kamu rasa???den kamu punya thinking tu is not good....
PRIORITISE PEOPLE!!!!
brapa hari jua ngannya lagi....
den after dat,duduk tah kamu dengan hal2 kamu sendiri....
we all try to give kamu at least some kind of spirit...maybe kalau ada org sokong,maybe,just a little maybe kamu kan semangat main...but i dun see at all...some..no MOST!!!
pity...pity...pity...

heeeee..

mwah back at youuuuu....

though u make me want to eat u alive,u cant make me keep a straight face...i had to use all my will power to make my pouty face...heeeeeeeee....
labs youh soooo much!!!

@#$%^&@#$%^!@#$%^&

CAN I PLEASE STRANGLE SOMEBODY NOW???
ANY VOLUNTEERS????
AARRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

.
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emotional much....

ya kaaa tuuu????

HAHAHAHA..THIS CRACK ME UP EVERY SINGLE TIME I WATCH IT....DANE COOK IS FAB FABULOUS...AND THIS IS SOOO TRUE...WELL,THAT'S WHAT THE PERSON WATCHING WITH ME SAID LAH AHH...HAHAHAHAHA.....

AND COME ON GIRLS...I AM PROUD TO BE A BRAIN NINJAAA~~WHAT A TRAIT EYYHH~~MAKING GUYS GO LITERALLY BOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!

sal c ayu....

took all those thigns below from there...haha...coz was pretty bored from playing too much geo challenge yang rah FB ahh..haha..wat a weekend~~
yang bawah atu are those that i think are related to me..i mean are fairly correct...
u must be bored too if you plan to read all those..hahahahahahaha!!!

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/


Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

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Bright and Cheerful
You are always cheerful and charming. You never get too serious with people when they're around, but when you are alone, you think carefully about what they have said. That's because you don't want anyone to see you being too somber. Your personality means you have a lot of friends and you are often the center of attention. Many people who fall into this category become artists and movie stars, perhaps fame could be yours in the future as well.

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What others see from your style
Although to the untrained eye you may seem like a plain dresser who avoids trends, you actually wear carefully designed accessories and clothes that emphasize your uniqueness. You value your freedom and have an artistic mind. You are neither aggressive nor timid, but you believe in yourself.

What your nightclothes reveal
You are a sensuous person who can also get bored easily. You're probably a little lazy and like to have your own way.

What others see from your ties
You are kind and friendly. You are an uncomplicated person and enjoy exciting activities.

What others see from your belts
You don't like to show your feelings. Normally, you are gentle and friendly, but you don't like socializing. It can be difficult to get to know you well, and you probably only have a few close friends.

What others see from your shoes
You like to be the center of attention. You like to look good at all times and probably never leave the house without makeup on. Although you may be intelligent, you're also insecure about your looks. You care about others, and will always listen to what they have to say.

What others see from your earrings
You are a sweet and talkative person. You are sociable, energetic and interesting, and get easily bored by the same old things. You are always looking for adventure.

The last analysis
You are probably a clever and adventurous person. You love to learn new things, and enjoy socializing with friends. Although you enjoy your freedom, you cherish peacefulness and like to spend time alone with your thoughts.


Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

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Here is how you prioritize certain aspects of your life.
More important matters come first on the list below:

1. Money
2. Pride
3. Family
4. Love
5. Career
**hahahaha..i dont think mney is THAT important..well,somebody would think differentlyy about that!!!hahahahaahhahahaha

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Here is the analysis:

1. Your ideal mate has a sense of humor and is lively.
2. You always compare yourself with others. You make your wishes too difficult to come true.
3. No effort, no success. That's your attitudes towards success.
4. You think that if you like what you are and have, then no matter what, you will always be happy.
5. You are emotional, sincere and optimistic.


bha im done.....BUHBYE~

went to dundee today for our monthly stock up of halal chicken and some shopping...SOME!!!hahaha...
am really tired right now from all that walking...and my stomach is still BULAT from all the buffet...all the indian goodies that i ate tadi..we had lunch rah TAZA..kind of like MAZA...actually it is like exactly macam MAZA,except the names are different...but still,the food was nice....hahhaa..kanyang jua eyh sorang2...
AYAM KALI AHHH....
now my feet are cramp to their maximum point....and i am extra sleepy...
soree nins inda terlarat lagi kan main left 4 dead ma kau d luar ahh...coz here i am ampai2 rah my katil....hehehe....
drg nins and azam sleepover lagi tonight...weeee...was excited kan main tembak2 zombies,tapi all those fatigue and tiredness,drained all the excitement out of me...adduuuhhhhhh......krg kalah main game,tambah stress....walaupun walau yuuuu...belajar Human Factors kalie ahhh..hahaha!!!
i have not enough sleep..pasal siok webcam sama darlings ku dua ekor ahh..hehe...im not blamng dem at all...coz i miss dem soo much!!sanggup ku hari2 bangun awal pagi mlyat ulah drg ahh...hahaha....pretending that i am sitting beside dem...aduuuhhh...sadih tah plg nie...

practice kissing...hhahahaha

goodbye...

ps:i love my hairdat night..hahaha...time kan tidor,nada org lyat lawa tia rambut ku..ahaayy...and when dpn org pagi2...aduuuhhh..mcm itu witch maaa...and i am not referring to emma watson or hermione granger...hahaha...witch witch..

nyts denn..

...........

i'm plain bored....
i played pet society...
i played fashion wars...
i played left 4 dead...
i checked everyone's blogs....*i sound like a stalker,but fyi im not..just keeping up tih friend's everyday lives*
i facebooked...
i twittered...
ive downloaded tons of songs...
i greeted everyone's birthdays...

noww....apa lagi kan d buat????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am bloody freakingly uberlyy seriouslyy bored to death...
internet 24 hours and fast connections is nothing sudah....
i think right now i prefer slow connections so dat i would have to wait to do all those stuff i mentioned above...so dat all my free/bored times would be filled again......*only saying dat now..will regret saying dat later*
aduuuuuhhhhhh...i think i better go to sleep saja,but my bed looks far for me to get my ass off the couch...HAHAHAHA...and brush my teeth lagi...now,the toilet seems hours and hours away....haiiiyaaaaa....how lah like dis ayu ayu???????

bah eyh..my eyes feel like they are strained to their limit point tho its only 10.46pm....takot rusak mata krg dats y i am GOING TO BED NOW!!mentang2 baru beljar human factors,which is fun....coz ada essay,one reason y it is fun...and jamie the lecturer is a plus too...siok dengar his voice..antah napa...concentrate saya plg leh nyaaa....tho i think i yawned more than 20 times in front of him tadi...and not those small cute yawns thank you very much..but those HUWAAAAAAAA yawns,u noe what i mean..haha..inda pemalu c ayu ahh...owh well...life goes on....

STAY HEALTHY PEEEEPS!!!!!!

we kill people!!!! ;););)

HAPPY HAPPY 19TH!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTINA MANGKA!!!!!
U ARE 19 TODAY!!!!!!!
HAVE A BLAST BIRTHDAY AND HOPE U HAVE A GREAT DAY TOO,AROUND PPL THAT U LOVE,EVENTHOUGH I AM NOT THERE TO CELEBRATE UR SPECIAL DAY WITH U,BUT I SEND U MY PRAYERS AND LOTS OF LOVE!!!






miss u sooo much bestie ku yang ku sayang brabislyy brabis!!!!!!

fondue

had a fondue/chocolate fountain parrty on friday night...ada c wanie and c nins and c azam lagi tuuuu~~hahahah......
it was way fun...macam chocolate for dinner siapa jua inda happy kaaann~~hehehe...
and ada strawbeeries,whic are my fave and a whole supply of banana!!hahahaha...im serious,atu byk,and ada maseh alum abis..hahaha...
d choc fountain is now lying on the kitchen table,KARAS berabis,and still maseh ada mengorek..HAHAHA...and one of them is me...but i think yang mostly mengorek atu is me lah ahh..HAHAAH...nyaman brabisllyy brabis!!!come on it's CHOCOLATE,bila jua inda nyaman kaaaann..hahaha..
enough with the nyaman-ness...hahaha..
den,drg inda jadi balik kemarin pasal c nins recommend kan main this shooting zombies games..apa kah namanya???but its like uber fun!!!killing is fun,well dalam games dat is....KAMI PRO SUDAH INDA JAAAA~~!!!!i mean headshots are easy~~
we can survive any zombie attacks anytime,anywhere~practice sudah..hahahaha..
inda jadi balik leh nya...from ptg til 4 pagi ahhh...and yang inda branti2 main is me and nins....HAHAAHAHAHAHAHA....
WE ROOCCCKKK!!!!!!!!!
i just felt like saying dat..hahahaha...
den bagun pagi tadi,mula2 felt seriouslyy ngantok,den when c nins cam "mao main lagi???,trus melompat and played sampai ptg lagi..hahaha..gila eyhh..dat game was addictive.....i guess pasal main ramai2 tu kalieeee...

owh well..im done talking..off i gooo~~

ps:bila lagi???hahahaha....sampai larak wah sorang2 ahhh...hahaha...wont say names..u all noe who u r..HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!*julur julur*