"bagi sejam...jadi dua jam.."
so,i got my last module's result,and i passed.WEEHEE.ABIS SUDAH!read my lips people,H.A.B.I.S.!
now,i can pack in peace.no more worries,anxiousness and stressed out nights.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
last tah tu sudah...
tomorrow's my last day of school.last day of practicals.last day of freaking lectures.
but surprisingly,i feel nothing.NADA.NIL.not even a speck of relieve or sadness.maybe balum terasa,but still!
i've been packing my ass off and i'm quite proud of myself,i've packed 2 boxes, though it made me a very grumpy and cranky person.
UNTUUUUHHHHHH!
i've passed my modules 7 and 11 with marks that boleh di banggakan jua lah.which leaves the ever nerve-wrecking essays.GOSH!so i'm like 98% to the finishing line.i can smell the glory,the success,the pure satisfaction!
come join me JUMP,JUMP,JUMP,JUMP!i feel so fueled up whenever i think about going back home.i feel like an ENERGIZER BUNNY.my batteries are fully charged,i'm gonna blow any second.even now,lying on the bed i feel like jumping up and down and around.but my hands,i can't feel my hands from moving all the boxes around and feeling how heavy everything is.it doesn't feel that heavy,so i feel safe.heeeeh
and i have tons and tons to give away it's ridiculous!but still my clothes are piling higher than ever.aku inda mao bali lagi though so tempted since i LOVE spring collections.the flowers and all the sunshine-y colours.feels like rolling on a meadow or something.maybe i'm so fed up of the cold.who isn't if you've been living 2 years in horrid,cold AND wet environments.
but,i have to say,i'll definitely miss this weather.
but surprisingly,i feel nothing.NADA.NIL.not even a speck of relieve or sadness.maybe balum terasa,but still!
i've been packing my ass off and i'm quite proud of myself,i've packed 2 boxes, though it made me a very grumpy and cranky person.
UNTUUUUHHHHHH!
i've passed my modules 7 and 11 with marks that boleh di banggakan jua lah.which leaves the ever nerve-wrecking essays.GOSH!so i'm like 98% to the finishing line.i can smell the glory,the success,the pure satisfaction!
come join me JUMP,JUMP,JUMP,JUMP!i feel so fueled up whenever i think about going back home.i feel like an ENERGIZER BUNNY.my batteries are fully charged,i'm gonna blow any second.even now,lying on the bed i feel like jumping up and down and around.but my hands,i can't feel my hands from moving all the boxes around and feeling how heavy everything is.it doesn't feel that heavy,so i feel safe.heeeeh
and i have tons and tons to give away it's ridiculous!but still my clothes are piling higher than ever.aku inda mao bali lagi though so tempted since i LOVE spring collections.the flowers and all the sunshine-y colours.feels like rolling on a meadow or something.maybe i'm so fed up of the cold.who isn't if you've been living 2 years in horrid,cold AND wet environments.
but,i have to say,i'll definitely miss this weather.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
enough is enough
aaaaahhhhh...dwelling my self in the past,is not a pretty thought.but still,i think of the past as if it means a hell lot to me,when it only feels like a glimpse of my childhood.
were my decisions wrong?were my choices black and white that it seems so DEAD ON.no,i was not naive back then,nor am i now.maybe i was just not sober enough to realise that SAYING ONE LITTLE THING could actually mean a whole other thing.nooo,i was not drunk,i was more daydreaming.
did i do the right thing?am i DOING the right thing?
what IS the right thing goddamnit?
was i the one to start this never ending facade?hiding behind a veil that doesn't cover much but still creating questioning looks and curious thoughts.well,which mostly came from strangers whom ive known for so long.
i know them by name,but not their true faces.they seem to be fading the moment i get closer.they seem to have transformed into a beast from early memories.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
this is not the time to abide to unsettling thoughts.not when you could actually see THE LIGHT at the end of that dark and horrific tunnel that has become my journey for so long.maybe I need civilisation,a warm touch,something familiar.BUT I'M STUCK HERE,STUCK IN THIS DARKAGES OF TORTURE AND FALSE RENDITIONS.
i need help.*full stop*
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i'm just not thinking straight.everything's a blur.a hideous blur.
no i know why.i'm jealous.i'm jealous coz she is beautiful and actually clever,while i'm this old wannabe caught in the middle of an obscure optical illusions.
yup,it's confirmed.everything's an illusion.
i'm off...........................................
were my decisions wrong?were my choices black and white that it seems so DEAD ON.no,i was not naive back then,nor am i now.maybe i was just not sober enough to realise that SAYING ONE LITTLE THING could actually mean a whole other thing.nooo,i was not drunk,i was more daydreaming.
did i do the right thing?am i DOING the right thing?
what IS the right thing goddamnit?
was i the one to start this never ending facade?hiding behind a veil that doesn't cover much but still creating questioning looks and curious thoughts.well,which mostly came from strangers whom ive known for so long.
i know them by name,but not their true faces.they seem to be fading the moment i get closer.they seem to have transformed into a beast from early memories.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
this is not the time to abide to unsettling thoughts.not when you could actually see THE LIGHT at the end of that dark and horrific tunnel that has become my journey for so long.maybe I need civilisation,a warm touch,something familiar.BUT I'M STUCK HERE,STUCK IN THIS DARKAGES OF TORTURE AND FALSE RENDITIONS.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
i'm just not thinking straight.everything's a blur.a hideous blur.
no i know why.i'm jealous.i'm jealous coz she is beautiful and actually clever,while i'm this old wannabe caught in the middle of an obscure optical illusions.
i'm off...........................................
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
bye bye module 7 for now
YAAAAAYYY!!i'm done with module 7! as of for now pulang tu saja..until i get my result and confirm saying i've passed with flying colours *excuse the pun*...
and i'm proud to say i am quite confident,eseh,bangga~,that i could pass.BUT,(there is always a but in a good news right?),not very confident about my mcq.
I KNOW I WENT OUT EARLY OF THE EXAM HALL TADI,BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I KNEW ALL THE ANSWER.cali jua orang botswana nya ani.cakap nya macam only 10minutes i sat for the exams then went out,but padahal it was half hour sudah.kali cakapnya aku confident.AMIN KALAU BANAR,TAPI ITU BUKANLAH YANG BENAR.huuuuhhh.
but at least i hope that my essay would be out of the way.waaaahh..people must be getting annoyed i sound over confident ani.jangan over confident ani yuu,kana sumpah jadi batu karang.HAHAHAHA *salah cerita*
anyhooooooooooooooo..last exam on thursday then left with one more week of practical,then i'm gonna be busy packing my stuff,and stuffing them in boxes to be stuffed with wani's and nins' stuff.*banyak jua stuff stuff ku ani* i hate the thought of me packing!and finding for boxes!and having to leave all my things and throwing them away~GIMANA INI DONG??!!!GIMANA???
and i'm proud to say i am quite confident,eseh,bangga~,that i could pass.BUT,(there is always a but in a good news right?),not very confident about my mcq.
I KNOW I WENT OUT EARLY OF THE EXAM HALL TADI,BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I KNEW ALL THE ANSWER.cali jua orang botswana nya ani.cakap nya macam only 10minutes i sat for the exams then went out,but padahal it was half hour sudah.kali cakapnya aku confident.AMIN KALAU BANAR,TAPI ITU BUKANLAH YANG BENAR.huuuuhhh.
but at least i hope that my essay would be out of the way.waaaahh..people must be getting annoyed i sound over confident ani.jangan over confident ani yuu,kana sumpah jadi batu karang.HAHAHAHA *salah cerita*
anyhooooooooooooooo..last exam on thursday then left with one more week of practical,then i'm gonna be busy packing my stuff,and stuffing them in boxes to be stuffed with wani's and nins' stuff.*banyak jua stuff stuff ku ani* i hate the thought of me packing!and finding for boxes!and having to leave all my things and throwing them away~GIMANA INI DONG??!!!GIMANA???
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