miss you!

come back please!i'm sick and tired of waiting!!

"bagi sejam...jadi dua jam.."

so,i got my last module's result,and i passed.WEEHEE.ABIS SUDAH!read my lips people,H.A.B.I.S.!
now,i can pack in peace.no more worries,anxiousness and stressed out nights.

last tah tu sudah...

tomorrow's my last day of school.last day of practicals.last day of freaking lectures.

but surprisingly,i feel nothing.NADA.NIL.not even a speck of relieve or sadness.maybe balum terasa,but still!
i've been packing my ass off and i'm quite proud of myself,i've packed 2 boxes, though it made me a very grumpy and cranky person.
UNTUUUUHHHHHH!

i've passed my modules 7 and 11 with marks that boleh di banggakan jua lah.which leaves the ever nerve-wrecking essays.GOSH!so i'm like 98% to the finishing line.i can smell the glory,the success,the pure satisfaction!

come join me JUMP,JUMP,JUMP,JUMP!i feel so fueled up whenever i think about going back home.i feel like an ENERGIZER BUNNY.my batteries are fully charged,i'm gonna blow any second.even now,lying on the bed i feel like jumping up and down and around.but my hands,i can't feel my hands from moving all the boxes around and feeling how heavy everything is.it doesn't feel that heavy,so i feel safe.heeeeh

and i have tons and tons to give away it's ridiculous!but still my clothes are piling higher than ever.aku inda mao bali lagi though so tempted since i LOVE spring collections.the flowers and all the sunshine-y colours.feels like rolling on a meadow or something.maybe i'm so fed up of the cold.who isn't if you've been living 2 years in horrid,cold AND wet environments.
but,i have to say,i'll definitely miss this weather.

enough is enough

aaaaahhhhh...dwelling my self in the past,is not a pretty thought.but still,i think of the past as if it means a hell lot to me,when it only feels like a glimpse of my childhood.

were my decisions wrong?were my choices black and white that it seems so DEAD ON.no,i was not naive back then,nor am i now.maybe i was just not sober enough to realise that SAYING ONE LITTLE THING could actually mean a whole other thing.nooo,i was not drunk,i was more daydreaming.

did i do the right thing?am i DOING the right thing?
what IS the right thing goddamnit?
was i the one to start this never ending facade?hiding behind a veil that doesn't cover much but still creating questioning looks and curious thoughts.well,which mostly came from strangers whom ive known for so long.
i know them by name,but not their true faces.they seem to be fading the moment i get closer.they seem to have transformed into a beast from early memories.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
this is not the time to abide to unsettling thoughts.not when you could actually see THE LIGHT at the end of that dark and horrific tunnel that has become my journey for so long.maybe I need civilisation,a warm touch,something familiar.BUT I'M STUCK HERE,STUCK IN THIS DARKAGES OF TORTURE AND FALSE RENDITIONS.


i need help.*full stop*

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i'm just not thinking straight.everything's a blur.a hideous blur.

no i know why.i'm jealous.i'm jealous coz she is beautiful and actually clever,while i'm this old wannabe caught in the middle of an obscure optical illusions.

yup,it's confirmed.everything's an illusion.

i'm off...........................................

bye bye module 7 for now

YAAAAAYYY!!i'm done with module 7! as of for now pulang tu saja..until i get my result and confirm saying i've passed with flying colours *excuse the pun*...

and i'm proud to say i am quite confident,eseh,bangga~,that i could pass.BUT,(there is always a but in a good news right?),not very confident about my mcq.

I KNOW I WENT OUT EARLY OF THE EXAM HALL TADI,BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I KNEW ALL THE ANSWER.cali jua orang botswana nya ani.cakap nya macam only 10minutes i sat for the exams then went out,but padahal it was half hour sudah.kali cakapnya aku confident.AMIN KALAU BANAR,TAPI ITU BUKANLAH YANG BENAR.huuuuhhh.

but at least i hope that my essay would be out of the way.waaaahh..people must be getting annoyed i sound over confident ani.jangan over confident ani yuu,kana sumpah jadi batu karang.HAHAHAHA *salah cerita*

anyhooooooooooooooo..last exam on thursday then left with one more week of practical,then i'm gonna be busy packing my stuff,and stuffing them in boxes to be stuffed with wani's and nins' stuff.*banyak jua stuff stuff ku ani* i hate the thought of me packing!and finding for boxes!and having to leave all my things and throwing them away~GIMANA INI DONG??!!!GIMANA???

scream and shout eyh?

am i making everything into a big a deal??
entah eh!!
let's scream and shout!!

let's scream and shout,like we did last summer,ooooowwwhhhhh,scream and shout like we did last year~

i've gone crazy,why did i even change "let's twist again" into "scream and shout"??hahaha.doesn't make sense does it?or maybe it doesn't make sense at all,so it makes sense in my mind? *apakan..

anyway,i had a great and fulfilling dinner with the three amigos.it was to celebrate our 26th national day.with cakes and candles lagi tu.and we were all dressed up lagi tu.and ada banyak makanan lagi tu.and kana bagi lollipop lagi tu.HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
yuuup.if i made a composition that "interesting" i would soo gonna get an A.HAH!

sooo to conclude everything,i am broke!completely broke!!i have no idea where all my money's gone to.even my savings are like nearly reaching zero!GILA KALI!hahaha.should stop spending on useless things,like food for once.makan pasir lagi bisai.asal ada duit.HAHAHAHAHA.

so next week is exam week and i have two humungously tremendously remarkably HUGE exams.well,for me they are,so just shut up if you think otherwise.so i'm gonna be stuck at home doing revisions.i hope so.maybe i'll do that after 1 hour from now pasal my stomach is CRAZEELY FULL!which equals to eyes barely open.which means the bed is calling.which means i need a strong dose of coffee QUICK!!

HELP!

im stuck at home today pasal this morning i felt like shit!i couldn't get up the bed,pasal my parut still sakit.
then now that i'm at home resting,im bored!at least i got to catch the postman today!MY NEW PHONE IS HERE!but i haven't registered my number yet,so now i'm numberless,and coz of that i feel lost.i can't kacau si awang in the hanger.HAHAHAHAHAHA!

yes,i know i should take this opportunity to do some revision but my mind is not on it at all.it's like blank.and when i try to pun something inside my brain,it acts as a sieve and drain everything out.IT'S RIDICULOUS!
maybe i need some motivation to make me all perked up to study,tapi nada!sudahtah have to read thousands of files!and then baca millions of essays lagi.

i don't want to fail!not when i'm soooo close to finishing this course!macam 2 more exams then i'm done baybeh!i'm going home! *or am i?*
well,i don't know but i like to think that i am.ha ha ha!

not soooo looooooooo....

i feel not sooo great..not great at all.
macam tidak mahu buat apa2 rasanya.macam mahu tidur saja.
and today's practical was so hard,not that it's difficult or anything,but it's coz of the aches and the pains that makes working SAKIT!
tapi aku inda mahu give up,or else i'll feel useless brabis!weeeellllll,at least i got things done!how ever slow it was.
YAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

anyway,valentine's over,chinese new year pun over,birthday surprises pun over!
so what else to do loor?
BACK TO $%^&*()*&^%$%^&* REVISIONS!!!!!

i have.....................33 days left til i move out from my house!goossshh!!macam inda lama lagi!
i'm scared to tell you the truth.scared of changes maybe,i don't know how i'll deal with it.OH NO!
inda wah lagi aku balik sini!!!!!!!my home for nearly 2 years!TWO YEARS!!
i did beg my mummy to come and help me pack,and she was like,"bawa saja 1 bag balik rumah,you don't need to bring anything else coz the most important thing is you're back!"

awwwww sweet!!

AND HELL YEAH!i have 100+kg all to myself.so shopping anybody???shopping for MY barang!

maybe i'll make a deal with myself..if saya rajin revision,then can shopping,if not,nada shopping.cana??cana yu??

DEEEEAAAALLLL!!  but can we start tomorrow?pasal parut ku brabis sakit.HAHA

hello people~~hahaha
anyway,i wrote/typed 2 posts a few days ago,but had not even finished a paragraph.
distractions and laziness.

anyway,takde cerite baru pun.so no worries,you've missed NOTHING!

it's just that it's still freaking cold here in lil old perth.i can't say i hate it,pasal ada tah orang tu karang,"imagine balik brunei cana panasnya"..eseehh..kan kan kan,ada wah orang catu.

karang surprise party,then esok inverness,den on sunday snow white on ice baybeehh!im soo excited kan liat the snow white on ice thing coz it reminds me of the Disney on Ice shows time di Brunei.awwwwwww..i miss my sister!pasal i watched snow white on ice di brunei sama iya when we were itty bitty little girls!

bah im off to sekolah!

okkk..i just realised how degrading that word is!

what word??

THAT word! *eseehh..malas kan sabut* pikir lah sendiri...hahahaha

aku ingin engkau ada disini,

menemani ku saat sepi

on a different note,sorry for no updates at all..berhabok sudah my blog.it's not that i'm lazy and i don't have the time.SHIT,i have all the time in the world,it's just that my day's been all a routine.

we're doing practicals on the cessna 150C and now engine change on the whirlwind.sekseehhhh~

it's all work and no play for little miss Aayunni.and she is getting dull.that's life.
NOPE,that ain't life,that's my choice.so,i'll deal with being boring.at least i feel safe.
owh,and a bit concerned about exams.not really,pasal i've started reading my notes sudah,just that,when exams' near,meaning bye-bye perth is near too!

SCARY, I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

aku inda mao balik,tapi aku mao balik,tapi inda jua,tapi ao jua....

insane squared!

i've been losing my mind lately.
kenapakan tu???!!am i stressed out???am i on the verge of a serious nervous breakdown???please,NO!i am only 20!i should be able to cope right,i think.hahahaha.

i don't think im on a midlife crisis,coz seriouslyy,if i am,then i'll be like dead when i reach 40 or something?talk about a short lifespan.thank you.i feel old.i feel like i'm rotting my life away in this cold and empty place.

there.i'm done looking at everything HALF-EMPTY.

i'm back to being my cheerful self.i hope.there comes mr.doubt back!GO AWAY!

to fill my empty weekend,ive spent watching supernatural and gossip girls alternately.and why u may ask,why alternately?coz i'm just plain insane??HAH!oh tidak,just to spice things up.ok that sounds even more crazyy..hahaha.yes.if i put it down in paper,it does sound crazyy.but,that's the only reson i could come up with at the top of my head.BOWH!

anyhoooo..i hope des-des can come over next weekend or whichever weekend she chooses,coz if not,i'll be dragging my ass to her place.hehehehe.mao jua ku meliat at.andrew's atu.well,i want to go to the aquarium,but it's closed in the winter time.boh-renngggg.

and aku mao liat liverpool arah anfield,tapi since liverpool sucks big time,it's become a half-hearted event.HAH!half??more like an eightTH!i wanna go somewhere,and not waste me time in lil old perth.let's spend some moneyyhh!!hahaha..who's with me!!

contradictions anyone??

i cannot sleep!my eyes hurt when i try to close them lama2.
i mean it's good that i can't sleep so that i can revise for tomorrow,my brain works better in the early mornings.

HOWEVER,my brain tonight is resenting everything i try to put into it.
so here i am,with my eyes wide open,waiting and waiting.
entah apakah aku wait.

my head feels like it's been tumbled in the washing machine.
round...round..round..round...

OK..STOP ALREADYYY!!aku mao tidur tapi inda mao tidur pasal aku mao belajar tapi utakku inda mao belajar iya mau tidur and mata ku pun inda mao tutup. *pouting*
my eyes are contradicting with my brain.work together now guys.exam's tomorrow and we need to be bright and clear and fresh in the morning.

maybe coz i watched this video after i woke up from my nap.yes,my nap was from 11pm til 2am.i call that a nap.HAHAHA.
soo the video was super duper sad and reminds me of atok.i cried obviouslyy,but i just don't know why i cried my eyes out.the situation was not the same.maybe the grandfather in the video reminds me of my grandfather.

i hate being so far away from home at times like this.i wish i could catch a plane and hug everyone!!saying i love them so much before it's too late for any of us.coz regret is an ugly thing and it haunts me to the core!
aku mao hug atok and tell him i'm gonna make him proud and never to disappoint him.and thank him for all the things he'd done for us.and appreciating all the love he gave me.

ok.......that was not supposed to be part of the post of the day.but since ive subconciously typed all my thoughts out.why not.

good early morning people.I DO love each and everyone of you.

new year!

HAH!i said stuff in my last blog being a person who just doesn't care.BUT I DO!
it's just pathetic celebrating this day alone.HAHAHA.maybe some of you,or a lot of you think "yeah,she deserves being alone." and maybe i do.
but no!!i will get of my ass later,and find some place to wait through to 12midnight.well,if there's fireworks.kihkih.

just don't let self pity get to you!it ain't pretty~