i actually deleted/edited this post...

i guess i just don;t have the guts to say all the things i want to say..coz i have learned my lesson a looong time ago....flashbacks are a pain in the ass!!!

<---------> yup was that close to breaking apart....

but i guess me being that way is unreasonable and not the right time...

WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME THEN???!!!

can somebody show me a sign?????
can something just jump out of the sky and hit my head so that i know what to do next?????
can a person shout at me at the side of the road "TO GET THINGS STRAIGHT"??!!

or even better...just have a truck run me over then everyhting's dilly dally....

help me up coz i keep on falling even deeper,
hold my hand as the days go darker....

feels like dog poo, being stepped twice and looked at with utter disgust!!!
i get all the so-called "ROSES AND CHOCOLATES" from other people but not from you...
and owh yes i AM complaining!!!!

joined the EARTH HOUR yesterday night..and i slept the way through...
well,planned to be all "romantic" and stuff, pasal d candles and the dark...
but since inda kejumpaan lighter..it was JUST DARKNESS...boo hoo..
sooooo...tidor lah gaya nyaaa....
and it was sad...pasal every year earth hour with my family...
pasal my mum takes this seriouslyy,and coz of this rubbed on all her children..even my sister reminded me to switch off all electricity....
how exciting to think that a small thing can make a huge difference!!!!!

XOXOXOXO!!

lalalala

somebody or twobodies or three tagged me this rah FB and i am soo malas to do it rah FB instead im doing it here...so boo you!!heee

Say you marry the last person you texted, what's your last name?
my sister texted me..and no thank you am i gonna get married with her..heeee..
well that would make me have the same last name..(???)

When's the last time you fell asleep watching a movie?
eerrmmm..hahaha..neveer...;p;p;p;p;p;p;p

Are any of your texts in your inbox locked?
nope...bhapa juaa~

Is there one person that you'll always have feelings for?
HOHOHO....duuuhh~and he is right in front of me thank you very much...hehehe

What's the last thing you laughed really hard over?
tadi pasal his words tadi..WAKAKAKA...

When was the last time you were told you were cute?
cant remember coz banyak kalie dah org cakap catu...hoho..dtg penyakit perasan nya.*tampaar*

What was the last drink you had?
was it tea??i think soo...

Who called you first this morning?
errmm...him...p aku inda jawab...HAHAHA

Last night, did you go to sleep smiling?
yes coz of the son "foat - 3 hari tuk selamanya"

How long can you go without your phone?
hmmmmmm..hmmmmm...not long i guess...if im out of the house..but if im in the house,try to contact me thru something else..coz i would probably cntact u back the next day...HAHAHA

Were you happy when you woke up today?
well...i always wake up happy...that's what i always think tho..hehehe

If you could go back in time, how far back would you go?
errmm...last two years...so that i could change my subs in form 6 so that i would have at least a slight chance of applying for law courses...boo me...

Are you the youngest person living in your house?
YES!!!!hehehe

Have you ever quoted a line from a movie?
"so dark the con of man"..i love that quote!!

Do you like candy-corn?
don't know what that is actually...

Did you ever want to be a lawyer?
since forever!!!!but here i am on my ass training as an aircraft engineer...shows u cant always get everything u want..life goes on!!NEXT!!

If there were no letters on the keys on your keyboard could you still type?
i am not even looking at my keyboard,so the answer is YES!

Do you have a bad temper?
i have mood swings...hehe...does that count???

Do you still speak to any of your classmates from primary school?
yup yup...banyaaakkk~~SAS girls ROCKS!!..hahaha...

Do you remember the first rated-R movie you saw?
inda...banyak kalie..hehehehehe

What is one thing you spend way too much money on?
clothes....cramping my room...aduuuhh...and i want more!!

Do you believe that there's good in everybody?
i think..but im not in an optimistic mood...soo NO for now..haha

What TV show should never stop running?
One tree hill...

Who was the last person you talked to in person?
meerul



In winter, would you rather wear jackets or hoodies?
jackets...pasal even now i think its spring and hoodies are not my friend!hahaha..SAJOOOKK WAH SCOTLAND ANIE...

Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
nope..im quite happy thank youh...

Look in your inbox in your phone, who are all the people you have texts from?
mum and meerul...

What are you drinking right now?
tea freak-o

What kind of shirt are you wearing?
sleeveless,does that count...and hoodie...pasal i thought at first it was gonna be hot..kali sajok tia...

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
hahahaha..NOPE~one year too long...but i wish this time it would be longer...heeee

Would you be able to tell someone you love them, even if you didn't feel it?
hoho...fake/plastic kalie ah c ayu nie kdg2..hahaha€

What color are your eyes?
Dark Brown-ish black-ish

Do you wear your seat belt in the car?
SEMESTINYAA..

Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight?
inda payah...*apakan*

Have you ever kissed someone that smokes?
haha..unfortunatelyy yes...and not something i want to do ever again if given a choice...heee..

Is there someone in your life you don't want them in it?
someone???like BANYAAKK!!!

What's the word you always say?
BBT!!heee





laterrr~

BOOWWHH!!

owh owh!ayu's in trouble..i broke my own promise...hehehe
i said i was going to update on monday or Tuesday,but now it's already good old Wednesday...
well..kalau mao lyat pictures taken from Brunotts,sila layari facebook saya...HAHAHA...my bm is getting good eyhhh~heee...

urrghhh to those people who has the virus thingie rah their MSN...mengacau ketenteraman saya saja...ngaleh bah I kan mencancel all those nonsense pop outs!
in one day i could count more than 10 i guess...and it is getting worst!
do ur MSN a favour and get ur freaking lappy or mobile a reboot!!*watever reboot means in computer language...but in that sentence it sounded CUTE!*..tampar kalie c ayu anie eyyhh..hahahah...

layan saja my babbles for the sake of me updating....
coz i have none to update....
though FB was being such an AS*H*LE on me yesterday i managed to upload all the "necesary" pictures rah FB ku...
though i felt like kicking and screaming and hammering my lappy with something uberlyy hard...tapi aku nie sebenarnya baik..*Nins fave words for now* :):):):)

seeeee!!!
@#$%^&*&^%$#@#$%^&*&^%$#@#$%^
the MSN thing is doing it again....don;t tell me MY msn is being a $%^&*#@#$%^&^%$..buang air liur ngannya ku mengucap org tu lau catu...haiyayaya!!!
i think I AM THE ONE WHO NEEDS A SLAP OR TWO!!!*i mean,a reboot~~*

my mum hasn;t contacted me in days!!!
i need brunei updates!!at least i could feel closer to home...anie nada...i am abandoned for now...
an orphan for more than a week...hahahahaha....

bah off i go play word challenge rah lappy c meerul pasal he has the PRO thingie which is fun!!!

bon voyageee

im gonna go off to the Brunotts Easter GAmes tomorrow to support Team Perth...
so i won't be updating till Monday...but don't count on it,pasal maybe ngaleh brabislyy brabis,so updates on tuesday onwards..promise nie...
coz i am positive there's gonna be loads to update...
especially pictures....don't i love uploading pictures tho batah!boo hoo...

bah ngantok saya....
i am stuffed to the max!!
had pizza,kebab and sushi all in one night....
nyum nyum..
cana kan seksheh nie???HEHEHEHEHEHE....


i promise you my eyes will be on you the whole time....*half finger cross*
love you,you hot thaanngg....

so i have this crazy mood to start my poem writing again,in class..since Module 7 is such a bore...i actually nodded myself to sleep...automatically saying "yes,Sam!"..hahaha...
atu ya tadi,it was funny..sampat lagi tidor for 30 minutes,without getting caught,and i am proud of myself...*pat self on back*...then suddenly while sleeping i heard "u all can go home at 3..",i woke up at that right moment and said "yeaahh!"...
atu jua inda ketara banar c ayu anie...hahahahaha...owh well....
the bottom line is module 7 stinks!and tabal lagi bukunya...which stinks even more!
and here i am planning to take B1...hahahaha..ko boleh tu yuuu...

i have good news!!wehee wehee...
but im not gonna tell u all yet till its confirmed....HAHAHHAAH..
antah kenapa i am uberly uberly excited about this,coz from the beginning i planned not to,tapi after my mum asked me for the thousandth time,i actually agree!
macam i am waiting for a text from her,or even an email...but BOHOO nada pa2!!

i am seriouslyy in a seriouslyy excited mood!
B.E.G. is just around the corner...i am gonna be a fangirl...
and my so called footie player is none other than my ♥♥♥♥♥♥..pasal he has hot legs!!hahahahaha....
i solemnlyy swear not to let my eyes stray TOO MUCCH...too much... :):):):):):)

off we go watch watch matrix...weeeeeee....

he asked me a simple question..maybe not a serious one,but made me soo emotional..
antah kenapa it made me this way..maybe coz it involves one of the person who i care most,my dad...
i may have answered you the way dat u not want me to...
i said, "i don;t care if you die..."
are you freaking crazeeee???OF COURSE I CARE IF YOU DIE!!!!
but the cause that would make you die from is sooo bullshit,that god had given you a chance...an opportunity to maybe live a longer life...

aduuhh im soree if you dont understand what i am blabbing about...
but all i want to say is i did not cry just now all because of you...
partly,coz u came up with such a question....
coz u made me think of my papa..who is soo far away...who may one day not be able to walk into the house with his silliness,with his so called serious face...
and all because of this white stick..a white stick which kills...
not only him,but the people around him...dying inside...
i may be foolish thinking of this,but we all know someday,a person WILL die...
but im sooo far away....
far away....
far...
away....

and i dont know when his time will be....
im being realistic...
maybe this is not realistic to all of you,but being far from home,and family,you would think of the worst consequences....
anything can happen..
in a blink of an eye...

i miss you....

naughty samuel

meeeek meeeek meeeek!! boring boring..nasi goreeenng!

nyeeehhh...

went to watch the guys train for brunotts....it was fun....p sayangnya inda semua dtg...knapa tu ahh???ok,maybe some has reasonable reasons lah d katakan,but the rest???mana semangat kamu kan???dun u all ever sit back and think of the others yang ngaleh2 dtg dengan semangat yang membara *ahaaii*....
and yet,there u all are sitting on ur bloody fat ass doing nothing!!and dun tell me kamu has even better things to do!napa alai kaahh???$%^&*(*&^%$#@#$%^&*(*&^%$!!
kan membalas dendam kali rah drg yang inda dtg the other days,so kamu mao drg merasa apa yang kamu rasa???den kamu punya thinking tu is not good....
PRIORITISE PEOPLE!!!!
brapa hari jua ngannya lagi....
den after dat,duduk tah kamu dengan hal2 kamu sendiri....
we all try to give kamu at least some kind of spirit...maybe kalau ada org sokong,maybe,just a little maybe kamu kan semangat main...but i dun see at all...some..no MOST!!!
pity...pity...pity...

heeeee..

mwah back at youuuuu....

though u make me want to eat u alive,u cant make me keep a straight face...i had to use all my will power to make my pouty face...heeeeeeeee....
labs youh soooo much!!!

@#$%^&@#$%^!@#$%^&

CAN I PLEASE STRANGLE SOMEBODY NOW???
ANY VOLUNTEERS????
AARRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

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emotional much....