insane squared!

i've been losing my mind lately.
kenapakan tu???!!am i stressed out???am i on the verge of a serious nervous breakdown???please,NO!i am only 20!i should be able to cope right,i think.hahahaha.

i don't think im on a midlife crisis,coz seriouslyy,if i am,then i'll be like dead when i reach 40 or something?talk about a short lifespan.thank you.i feel old.i feel like i'm rotting my life away in this cold and empty place.

there.i'm done looking at everything HALF-EMPTY.

i'm back to being my cheerful self.i hope.there comes mr.doubt back!GO AWAY!

to fill my empty weekend,ive spent watching supernatural and gossip girls alternately.and why u may ask,why alternately?coz i'm just plain insane??HAH!oh tidak,just to spice things up.ok that sounds even more crazyy..hahaha.yes.if i put it down in paper,it does sound crazyy.but,that's the only reson i could come up with at the top of my head.BOWH!

anyhoooo..i hope des-des can come over next weekend or whichever weekend she chooses,coz if not,i'll be dragging my ass to her place.hehehehe.mao jua ku meliat at.andrew's atu.well,i want to go to the aquarium,but it's closed in the winter time.boh-renngggg.

and aku mao liat liverpool arah anfield,tapi since liverpool sucks big time,it's become a half-hearted event.HAH!half??more like an eightTH!i wanna go somewhere,and not waste me time in lil old perth.let's spend some moneyyhh!!hahaha..who's with me!!

contradictions anyone??

i cannot sleep!my eyes hurt when i try to close them lama2.
i mean it's good that i can't sleep so that i can revise for tomorrow,my brain works better in the early mornings.

HOWEVER,my brain tonight is resenting everything i try to put into it.
so here i am,with my eyes wide open,waiting and waiting.
entah apakah aku wait.

my head feels like it's been tumbled in the washing machine.
round...round..round..round...

OK..STOP ALREADYYY!!aku mao tidur tapi inda mao tidur pasal aku mao belajar tapi utakku inda mao belajar iya mau tidur and mata ku pun inda mao tutup. *pouting*
my eyes are contradicting with my brain.work together now guys.exam's tomorrow and we need to be bright and clear and fresh in the morning.

maybe coz i watched this video after i woke up from my nap.yes,my nap was from 11pm til 2am.i call that a nap.HAHAHA.
soo the video was super duper sad and reminds me of atok.i cried obviouslyy,but i just don't know why i cried my eyes out.the situation was not the same.maybe the grandfather in the video reminds me of my grandfather.

i hate being so far away from home at times like this.i wish i could catch a plane and hug everyone!!saying i love them so much before it's too late for any of us.coz regret is an ugly thing and it haunts me to the core!
aku mao hug atok and tell him i'm gonna make him proud and never to disappoint him.and thank him for all the things he'd done for us.and appreciating all the love he gave me.

ok.......that was not supposed to be part of the post of the day.but since ive subconciously typed all my thoughts out.why not.

good early morning people.I DO love each and everyone of you.

new year!

HAH!i said stuff in my last blog being a person who just doesn't care.BUT I DO!
it's just pathetic celebrating this day alone.HAHAHA.maybe some of you,or a lot of you think "yeah,she deserves being alone." and maybe i do.
but no!!i will get of my ass later,and find some place to wait through to 12midnight.well,if there's fireworks.kihkih.

just don't let self pity get to you!it ain't pretty~